Looking after old relatives

Does anyone have any views of how to break the news that your elderly parent/relative will have to go into care because you cannot care or cope for them anymore, and are there any associations available to give you advice?

Cherryandwhite have just seen a programme on Granada called This Morning all about young (and old) carers looking after elderly relatives sometimes it can be a full time job with no breaks or holidays, but if all the familly rallies round it makes it a lot easier. Reading through the lines it seems that you are in this unenviable position. Good luck anyway.

I go to Turkey a lot for my holidays and the Turks look after the old members of the family like the old ones used looked after them when they where kids,now thats what I call family.I know when people get ill and aged its difficult and in todays world people have got to work but like prince says when the family rallies round it makes it easier.I cant think of any of my family being in a home and I hope and pray I dont end up in one.

Hello Coccium, just read your comments about the Turks. The Italians and Spanish are also very similar when it comes to looking after their old ones. My mother who lives in Wigan has turned 88 and is wheelchair bound, but my brother wont even ring her never mind about shopping or cleaning. Is it possible to embarrass someone into helping their mother or should you just leave it to their lack of moral responsibility. Sometimes it makes me so mad, no time for your mother, but time enough for the pub and Haydock races!

Paul, I know your brother, why dont you just ring up the personal department at Heinz and tell them all about him? (or get someone to "persuade" him to go round)

Hi Paul. I really admire you for the way you look after your mother, given the fact that you live in Switzerland. It must be hard combining the two but, you do it with love and respect for her. Your a top man.

Putting my parents in a nursing home was one of the most difficult decisions I ever had to make
They lived all their lives in Wigan until they were no longer able to take care of themselves.
We brought them to live in Essex and we took care of them in our home for 3yrs until it got to the stage where we could not manage them.
We had some very difficult times and decided to get some help it is 1yr ago today that we put mum in the home as we were trying to place them together but because their needs were different mum had to be assessed first.Dad went in 2 wks later and although we managed to get them in the same home they were not in the same unit.
Neither of them wanted to go into a home and I didn't want them to go but I did it and they are both now dead and I am still living with the guilt.
There is no easy way of doing it especially if they don't cooperate.

You should get help from social services to find a suitable placement but if they have property or savings you will have to pay towards the cost of their care!!!!!

Hiya 1934granada, thanks for the kind words sometimes its hard, but my mother has all her faculties and a very good sense of humour and her grandchildren adore her. Dont know why my brother stopped contact, he remarried about 4 years ago and if I try to speak to him he just says "I have my own family to look after" thats why I am so gratefull for help from friends and neighbours and Wiganers in general are very friendly and generous people. p.s. I like curry too!

Paul, forget about your brother, you njust keep trying to look after your mother as best you can. Dont forget she looked after you for many years. Your brother will live to regret his actions when your mother is no longer here. As for "persuading" him to go and see here, forget it, he's not worth it.

Hi again 1934granada, yeh I try to get over to Wigan at least once a month. My mother is over here at the moment, but because of her age its getting increasingly more difficult, she says to tell you she knows Jimmy Brady and Terry Jukes as well as Tommy Lyons. Its always nice to come back and have a pint or two in the Colliers. Am sorry to hear about your parents Kathy, but its always in hindsight and nobody knows how they would react in such a situation as you found yourself. God bless bioth of you

Hello 1934Grandad, if you worked at Heinz isnt there anyone you could contact to shame the low-life into visiting his mother? i.e. boss or manager!

A

Mother eating out with my son in the mountains. Bib compulsary!

Bloody Hell, how do you make it smaller?

hi paul saw your brother in wigan tonight drunk as a skunk infact not a guilty bone in his body disgracefull doesent care about his mother he said not got time to go and see her i have a full time job geting drunk with the wife besides she never comes to see me i told him your mum is in a wheel chair she will not ask you for help the same way she didint ask you for help when you was a baby she just got on with bringing you up prperley short memory its you that owes her

Hello Billy. always good to hear from you, your right he's a low life, not worth worrying about, leave it to his ignorance. Are you still playing rugby Billy Do you know 1934 Grandad? he sure as hell knows us. I only heard tonight that Ken Blackledge has passed away, he was a nice man always used to bump into him on Sundays with John Sharples,do you remember him 1934Granddad. Please tell ne your real identity and I will buy you a pint in the last orders next time I'm over. p.s. thanks for looking after me mum billy!

Amen to that Billy, by the way 1934granada did I play rugby with you and Billy Telford roghly 1977-82 for St Pats?
if your the same lad I'm thinking about.

BillyH, tell the bastard or tell his bosses, I always thought Wigan folk were up front, give me his name and address and I will see to the rest!

Prince, thank you for your views, I know people in Wigan who would do a favour for me, but as Terry Hollingworth says " if you have to force someone to visit their mother, then dont bother because their not worth it" give my regards to the southern softies brigade. Paul

Billy Hinnigan I used to play rugby with you (Wigan Tech, Leigh) what are you doing now? I remember Terry Hollin gsworth and Derek Heaton.Telöl your mate PaulN to forget about his brother,he'll get his commupance sooner than he thinks
peoadofile bastard!

ive worked in a nursing home n believe me i dread to think the day i av to make the decision about my parents...no matter wer u send them you take the rough with the smooth i myself like to think i was a good respectful carer from working in a nursing home but you dont always get that from eveyone end of day you cant look after them forever you probably have famlies of your own to take care of i just hope whichever decision you make is the right one

What I like about Asians ,besides being married to one his the way they look after their Parents.I think the same problem his rife here In Ausse,after all we are all of the same race.Like some one said It his not always possible to give the Older people the care they require and they need to go In to a Nursing Home.People who go In to Nursing Homes have their life expectancy reduced.

Is there no one reading these bulletin boards who works at Heinz that cant tell this miserable person to go and visit his wheelchair bound mother, is he so powerful that he frightens people, anyone who can ignore a dying mother cannot be a BIG man!

Cherryandwhite it is never easy especially if the elderly relative doesn't want to go - and most of them don't. They want to be in their own house, in their own room that they have been in for xx years. But sometimes they need specialist care, sometimes the carers' health starts to suffer, lifting into showers, baths etc. Also if you are the carer it can be a 24 hr. thing whereas the people in the homes do their shifts then go home. Have you tried social workers or someone associated witht the home? They are usually expert at dealing with these kind of situations and they know how to talk to them and pick out the positive points.

If you are feeling any guilt, a friend of mines parents were elderly and after 48 yrs. of marriage he got too ill and had to go into care, he was in his 70's and eventually it became too much for his wife. He kicked and cursed and called her all the names under the sun going into the back of the ambulance - and this was his wife who had cared for him and that he loved dearly. She had no choice.

Hope it all works out for you mate. Take any help and advice you can get.

Hello ozzielass (what a beutiful woman you are!) just read your views, but would like to point out its not (and could NEVER be!) my mother that were talking about. From what I can see reading this thread, Mrs. Nicholson has 2 sons, one living in Switzerland who seems to be flying back and forth every week, while the other brother who lives in Wigan refuses to have anything to do with this old lady because he's too busy! People like that make my blood boil, but myaybe one day he will be in the same position as his mother. Hope so!

Cherryandwhite, he's a manager at Heinz's so thats why people are a little afraid of him (especially if you work there)!

I get to far east now and again and if you dont look after your own elderly no one else will.

Well said Harold, my mother passed away 14 years ago and I still miss her. Sometimes you dont know what youve got till its gone, and the love of your mother is definately one of them. Dont know about people being afraid of this man cos he's a manager at Heinz (so what) but if I was 20 years younger I wouldnt be afraid to tell him what I think!

Hi again Paul. Its 1934 granada not grandad I don't know Billy Hinnigan personally but I remember calling in the Strangeways pub when he had it. Yes I knew Ken Blackledge and I know John Sharples, if its the same one that used to play for St Pats. Billy H did you used to play rugby for Wigan Tech?If so do you remember Derek Toothill, Ben Barnes, Mossy etc.

His Stan Morley still a boss at Heinz,he his my cousin ,If he his still there I could have a talk to him.

Stan Morley left Kitt Green years ago Keno.

Hiya 1934granada
do you know anybody at heinz who can influence/embarrass this man to go and visît his mother who's 88 years old?

Hi keno, dont just say it , do it embarrass the low-life( but dont lose your job)!

Whats his name,I like to know who I am talking to.Also Mothers name.

Sometimes I think we just have to accept that we are not all the same. As much as most of us would do the right thing whether it is the way we look after our children, family, animals etc. - not everyone has the same caring, compassionate nature.

As the saying goes "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink". Hope we never go down the track of USA where many old people suffering from dementia are literally just dumped at the hospital doors, no ID nothing.

Personally if I got to that age and one of my kids didn't give a stuff about me, I wouldn't want them anywhere near me. I think I would rather be with strangers my age and have a good yarn about 'the good old days when I was a young lass in Wigan'

That could take forever Ozzielass

Hi Keno. his name is Jimmy or James Nicholson, and his mothers name is Winnifred. See what you can do. Cheers

You don't know the half of it Keno

Ozzielass, take your point about not wanting someone who dosent care about you, but surely it isnt fair to the other sibling(s) who is left to do everything. I talk from experience having nursed my father after he had a stroke until he passed away and my sister didnt even visit him in the hospital because she "had" to work. p.s. youre a babe!

This thread started as looking after elderly relatives but has developed into something very personal.
It appears that some have taken over and decided to make decisions for others

Some of you are doing more complaining than pnicholson who appears to be doing a good job of caring for his mum even though he lives a distance from her
Whatever the brothers reasons for not keeping in touch with his mum he will have to live with that decision
If you want to help do it in a constructive way it is no good digging the dirt.
I speak from experience I was spending all my free time travelling to Wigan when my parents were alive and I was the same as pnicholson I did it because I wanted to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Prince, sorry to hear about your father but at least you did your best not out of duty but out of genuine love and affection for your father: I take my hat off to you. On the funnier side, last week I said to my daughter "who will look after me when I am old and infirm?" she replied "dont worry Dad, you wont make sixty! Doh!

cherryandwhite you cant go wrong with age concern. they are on market street in wigan ask for pat

Hi andie9469, unfortunately both of my parents are no longer with us, are you suggesting that I can get some help from age concern for myself?

andie9469 Was only joking....

Hi CherryandWhite,I have just rang James
Nicholson re his Mother.He was not available so I left a Message requesting him to visit his Mother In the Nursing Home.I do,nt know whether It will do any good I can only try.

cherryandwhite did you not pose the question or have i had to much wine

Ho Keno I have to say youve got b**ls!
By the way andie9469, was not referring to my own parents (RIP) but rather started the discussion up after an argument / difference of opinion in the Russian baths last week.

I'm with you Kathy on this one, I am a bit confused as to why so many people are concerned about somebody not visiting their elderly mother, or looking after them. I'm sure it happens a lot unfortunately?? Got a feeling this might turn ugly.

Speaking of which, thank you for your kind comments prince/cherry & white. Note my fotos are long distance, I gave up buying cosmetics at Boots a long time ago, I just buy an economy sized spakfilla from the hardware A smudge of vaseline of the camera lens does a good job too!

Thank you for your response ozzielass I was begining to think I had been blocked by everyone.
I am off to Spain later today we are taking our three youngest grandchildren it is the first holiday we have had abroad in 13yrs due to other committments so we are looking forward to it!!!!
We will probably need another hol to get over it.
I hope that this situation with pnicholson and his mum does not get ugly because of interference I am sure that is the last thing they want

ok cherryandwhite but age concern is probably the best for anyone who is in that situation

cherryandwhite, we looked after Mum as best we could. Dad was 8 years older than mum but when she thought it was the middle of the night when it was broad daylight...etc. Dad was exhausted and something had to be done. We got in touch with Age Concern (who were brilliant) and Mum was placed into a home which we were all happy with and so was Mum. There's only so much you can do, cherryandwhite, before your loved one(s) need professional care.

Hi Dizzy Blond, yeh I suppose it happens to all (most) of us. Just to clear up any misunderstandings, my parents have both passed away and I was just voicing my humble opinion regarding pnicholsons mother and the problems he is confronted with living in Switzerland. Like you say there's only so much you can do, but the burden (sic)shouldnt just fall on one person when other members of the family are doing nothing. Anyway I dont think there's a lot more to say on this subject so I (for one) will call it a day. Good luck to you though Mr. nicholson.

Cherry and White,If all of us forget our duties to the people who brought us Into this World we are becoming a very sorry lot.Unfortunatly we are all born with different views on what our obligations are.If we all bury our heads In the sand,maybe these problems will evaporate.
That his most peoples answer to all problems .Thank God there are some people who still care about other people,we can only do our best and try to fill the Gaps left by the uncaring.

Hello Keno, thanks for your help and kind words, are those your daughters in the photos? they are very beautiful women. Do you ever get back to Wigan and can you buy sausages and bacon in Australia? What I would realy like to do now is write a line underneath all this as its getting a bit out of hand, and I dont want to make things worse than they already are. Once more thanks to Billy Hinnigan, Billy Telford, Terry Hollingsworth and "Big" Steve Smith for their support and "Cherryandwhite" who's name I still dont know! Cheers Paul

Paul, send me your email address and I will write to you at home. Apart from big steve smith I know all the other lads personally although have not seen Billy Hinnigan since Keith Holdens funeral. I was in the Eckersleys Arms and St Judes yesterday, and would have spoke to Joe or Tony Fitz , but they were not in and nor was Jimmy Hicky. Look after yourself, send me your email and then I give you my telehone number and we can have a real chat.

Cherryandwhite, I think I know who you realy are! Did you used to play at St Pats with John Sharples and used to knock about with Cliff Fleming? They dont call me Sherlock Nicholson for nothing....
Anyway my email address at home is pnicholson@mydiax.ch
Hope to hear from you soon

Hi Pnicholson ,yes two of the Girls are my Daughters the other girl his the Mother of my two Daughters.WE have been married almost 22years ,I took my Wife to Switzerland In 1987 (Berne Geneva and
Lucerne) ,my wife was pregnant at the time with my eldest Daughter and did,nt know It .We was on a tour of Europe at the time.We also visited Wigan,I visited by myself In May 2005.Yes you can buy Bacon and sausage and anything else you can buy In Wigan.I,m sorry I could,nt be of any help In the other matter.There his a greater power than us that will punish anyone for all their Misgivings.

Paul, I still say shame him into action, the more people know about what he's doing the better especially at work, failing that, send in the "heavy gang"

Hello Prince (Mark) "heavy gang?" you should have been a boxer, or have you been watching Lock, Stock again? come to Wigan and try a night out in the "Last Orders" with your sothern accent I'd give ya 5 mins with Harry Cullen! Take care

i know how u feel had to put my mum in a nursing home seven years ago after a very severe stroke three weeks before her 60th birthday it was the hardest thing that me and my brother and sister (she was only 18 at the time) had to do the rest of the family just didnt want to know and my mum had four sisters and were supposed to be a tight knit family we visited her every day always two of us at a time did it for five years till she passed away in her sleep at 3.30am on 10th June 2005 she didnt get one visit from her sisters even though she kept faith that they would come and they never did... mind u did have some good friends although not naming any names cause they use this site too didnt stay by me never saw her again after the funeral... point is if uve got a good family that'll help u out keep them at home as long as possible if not use a nursing home but check them out first there are a lot of good ones out there and local too.. good luck

Hi levi1962, what a sad story, and I thought I was in dire straights. Also have the feeling, should anything happen to my mother, certain people will be round like a shot weeping and wringing their hands, but as I said before, not everyone is selfish and some folk do things above and beyond expected things.
Most of the people that help my mother I had'nt seen in over 30 years, and it humbles me. Where I live you dont even know the name of the next door neighbour, and thats one of the things that I realy miss about Wigan. My mother will NEVER go into a home as long as I can help it, even if it means moving back to the UK, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Good luck (viel gluck)

Paul, is that THE harry Cullen from Shevington? I didnt know he was still knocking about, must be over 80 and still going in the last orders. So much for doctors advice!

Hello Cherryandwhite, yes its Harry Cullen from Shevington, he goes in the Last Orders every night (weekends as well) and I always make a point of buying him a pint or two to hear him reminicing about the "old Saints Tavern" or the "Green Door Club" in Millgate. All before my time of course!

Paul, who's Harry Cullen? is he a boxer, because were not short of boxers darn sarf!
Remember Henry Cooper, Billy Walker, Frank Bruno etc. Do they HAVE boxing up north Paul?

Prince, he's a Wigan character, dont you have any characters darn sarf?

Harry is always in the Anvil for his last pint, its nearer to the bus station for him as he catches the last bus home to Shevvy.

1934granada I would hate to think what would happen if Harry met up with pnicholson's brother James, my money would be on Harry, not one to pull his words (or punches).

I am 73 yrs old,still have my facilties,but my joints now play me up.I now live in a sheltered housing complex and it was the best move I ever made..Remember the song "Three Steps to Heaven" well this place is Step No.1. The Nursing Home across the road is Step No.2.and as for Step No.3,use your imagination.........

Hello bryn156, good on ya, but I think that pnicholsons mother is wheelchair bound, so would be totally dependent on other people. The point I was trying to make is whether Mrs. Nicholson goes into a nursing home, sheltered accomodation etc, her son should at least visit her once in a while. Anyway good luck with the third step.

Cherryandwhite,
third step! what an optimist!

Cherryandwhite, In the complex where I live we have 2 or 3 residents who never ever see their relatives,& i've heard of relatives only visiting when they want money,I am fortunate that I get visits from my family,but unfortunately in this world we now live in,it is becoming the norm to dump your parents when they get old & feeble,this practice is now spilling over to the Asian population whose caring for elderly relatives has always been part of their culture...

Hello bryn156, read your letter with interest because one of the things you northeners are (were) better at than us was looking after your old folks, but have just realized your as bad as we are. The sign of a modern and just society is how you look after your parents in their old age. Anyone who turns their back on a parent when they most need help is nothing more than a savage, but in this world of ME Me Me its becoming more and more common! Culture? you can keep it, I know what I will do when I cant look after myself. Still a couple of years left
though.

Hi Keno, just got back from the russian baths in Wigan. Nearly fell off mi towel when some ex-miners started talking about this thread and some of the solutions they came up with you couldn't reprint here or you'd be charged with incitement.

pauln, I will be in St Judes tomorrow, I will see if there is anyone there who would be able to help you and Winnie. Leave it to me, all the best.

Hello cherryandwhite, did you meet/speak to anyone at that club, or have you managed to find out the names of any bosses at that Heinz factory place?

Hi Prince, hello pauln, was in St Judes yesterday having a chat to a number of people. Jimmy Hickey was not in, but I've got his mobile number and will give him a ring this afternoon. The general consensus was that this man is not worth bothering about or does not realize what he's doing to his sick mother, if I could find out someone's name who works in Heinz who would tell him, it would make things a lot easier! Will keep on trying, if anyone on WW works at Heinz please get in touch.

Hi cherryandwhite (sic) thanks for your telephone call, how did you know when to speak when the answering machine was in German? unfortunately we were away in Graubüenden for the weekend and have only just got back. I will ring this Mrs. Eilean Halliwell at Wigan Social Services first thing tomorrow. I realy do appreciate your help and will make it up to you next time I'm in Wigan. Did you have any luck with Heinz?

Ive read all the your reports and its not easy putting your Mum or your Dad in a home put sometimes you have no chioce lost my Dad 1997 my sister 4 years ago my mum had 3 strokes been in and out of hospital I live 9 miles away if something happend by the time I got on my way it could have been to late ive got my Mum in a home near to us I can be there in a short time she Has not had any more strokes she in a wheel chair she has parkinsons thats the best for her but just dont put then a home and leave them there go and see them your still part of there lives

My wife has M S and I am the primery carer. We have aids to help and carers coming in at morning and evening . It can get hard as being on benefits mean NO holidays or anything fancy as you get enough to live on.
I have told my children not to care for their mother as I am now doing as their lives would be compromised and they would be in the rut . Their lives must be their own and they can decide and live their own way.
There are some plus`s with this job , sitting in the garden on nice days and you are your own boss , you decide how to run your day. It`s not all doom and gloom

cherryandwhite, Ageconcern, was brilliant both with Mum and us. Helped us through hell.

Hector, welcome to wiganworld, there must be thousands out there like you, good onya for looking after your wife. Otherwise the hospitals and homes would be overflowing. You seem to be looking on the bright side of a bad situation if I can call it that.

cherrynwhite - do they have vodka in them russian baths?

Hello paul, first a short note to Hector, am sorry to hear about your wife, but if I had M&S, cancer or any other dehabilitating disease I would want someone like you to look after me, am not religious Hector, but I believe you will be rewarded in one way or another.
Now for the complete opposite of Hector, pauls brother. Spoke to J Hicky yesterday and he told me that people just ignore your brother if he comes into the club because they are so disgusted with him. There must be someone working for Heinz who reads this thread who can help, but so far no resonse. Will keep trying.

oops, nearly forgot about you Ozzielass, no there's no vodka in the Russian baths, (unfortunately) but last week I went on Thursday, and thats ladies day. I didnt stop, because if youve seen one,you've seen em both!

Hi cherryandwhite, why dont you just post his name and address and THEN you will get a response, or write to his boss in this Heinz factory, otherwise your just flogging a dead horse!

Hi cherryandwhite, thanks for the card it arrived this morning. No change in the situation at the moment, but we live in hope. All the best to Ken Rutter, wish I could be more like you!

one of my staff at work is in her sixties and her mum and dad have turned 90. They are both very frail but have strong sound minds which has made their daughter's life very difficult. She lost her own hubby after 33 years together last year and is still dealing with her grief. They are very unsympathetic and as old people can be, selfish. They have systematically shot down every attempt she has made to get them help cos of their fierce independence. She has no life of her own. Finally, this week it has come to a head. Dad cannot now walk and is almost blind and very deaf. Mum is very very frail and wobbly. They have finally conceded they need home help but she is having to battle to get it as they have scuppered it so many times. The cost of getting all the services to them so they can stay in their own home is eating into her own pension and savings as well as theirs and despite their frailness could still live for years. Meantime the stress on her health is very apparent and getting worse. It is a horrible thing to have to put a parent in a home but sometimes the alternatives are worse. I can see their daughter being found dead alone in her own home and them still trucking on. She has no other family for support.

Hello Dark Horse, what a harrowing story!
My god, and I thought I had it rough, this girl (woman) is very lucky to have someone so understanding as yourself. I am in a funny position as I dont live in the UK and it makes things more difficult in looking after my mother, sometimes I have even flown over to take her for a doctors appointment. I try to get over as many times as I can and am very lucky that some of my old Wigan friends go round for a chat or do a bit of shopping. My mother is over here at the moment and is as happy as larry, but she's not getting any younger (88) and I would never put her in a home. There is another member of my family living in Wigan, but he has "not got the time* as he is working to hard as it is.
You couldnt make it up! I hope things turn out better for your friend dark horse, Take care Paul

Well I wish you all the luck in the world Paul. But luvvie, never say never. Sometimes you just don't have a choice. Just keep going as long as you can and your mum is lucky to have you!!xxxVal

Hello again, paul. Have had an idea. Find out the name of the pub(s) your brother drinks in and then get someone to go in and tell all the regulars what he is doing to your mother. I am sure that he will be shunned (sent to coventry) until he starts to go and visit her. It would work down here, why not up north?

Hi paul, spoke to Terry last night, he told me there's a fellow working in Heinz called Worthington who's also a manager in the food processing plant. But he also said what a lot of people have said in that the fellow simply isnt worth it! am starting to come round to Prince's way of thinking.

hi paul i had a word with your brother told him a few home truths but i got the impresion he doesent care so long as he gets his nights out i told him you big lazy pig you have no responsabities now ie time on your hands why dont you use some of that time towards looking after your mother instead of your self come your turn

Hello Billy, at least you tried, I am running out of ideas apart from slipping Billy Telford or Terry Holingsworth a tenner! I cant understand it, seems no one reading this site works at or knows (or cares) anybody who works at Heinz's, this fellow even walks past his mothers house when he catches a bus to Kitt Green and wont pop in, what sort of "boss" does that? I will appeal once again to WW members, but after that I'm afraid we will have to give it up as a bad job (and man)!

Hi Billy, seems your the only one in Wigan with any bottle, thought there were all beer swilling, hard rugby playing men up there. How wrong can you be? Anyway paul you live in Bern, Switzerland and its the Euro 2008 next year over there. Get me a ticket and put me and the wife up for the duration and I will go down to Wigan personally and drag your brother round to his mothers house, boss or no boss! and thats from a so-called southern softie, seems all the softies live up north.

Cherryandwhite, maybe I had a little rush of blood to the brain last night talking about dragging people about. My question is, is pauls brother a big chap?

Did you read that from Prince 1934granada. Big? he might be big in build, but he's very small in stature!

Hello Prince (mark) you are always welcome over here, you dont need to drag anyone or anything about, but you'll have to stay in the chalet because big Steve Smith from Beech Hill is coming over next year and he's made me an offer I can't refuse (if you get my drift). All the best to you as well billyh, maybe see you at Wembley this year only one more game.
All the best.

Hi paul, I was only joshing you, but maybe I/we WILL be over there some time next year, only this time I wll bring along a spare radiator! Am realy surprised that nobody from Wigan has'nt had a go at you-know-who, but if I come up with any new ideas I will post them on this site. p.s. who's Billy Telford ? (sounds like a poet)

Hello Prince (mark) Billy Telford is/was a good friend of mine and a real gentleman
and I dont want to get him involved with my problems, but like I said your more than welcome to come over here next year for the football, best wishes to Billy hinnigan as well, realy appreciate your trying billy, you'll never get a job at Heinz's after this. God Bless

Just been reading the thread "Then and Now" about life in Miry Lane and Wallgate years ago and it seems to me that the situation regarding pauls mother would not have been allowed to happen in those times. The neighbours and friends would all have rallied round and one of the men or perhaps the parish priest would have had a "quiet" word with J nicholson reminding him about his responsibilities.
That in my view is part of todays social problems, the breakdown of family life. Life was much harder for folks living in the 30's, 40's and 50's but they could all teach us a thing or two about that much banded about word Respect!

Hello cherryandwhite, yeh! we used to have that sort of thing down the real eastend when my dad was a kid, neighbours who cared and friends you can count on. A dying breed unfortunately. We never had a Heinz bean factory though!

Prince, I didnt think you et beans down south, I thought it was all jellied eels!
Only joking, I know youve done a lot to bring pauls mum to peoples attention, but it seems no one realy bothers so have reverted to black humour. Give my regards to the Krays.

Hello cherryandwhite, jellied eels, better than tripe and onions! What I just wanted to say is that the Krays were a bunch of thugs and gangsters who hurt and even murdered people and no one can try to defend that. After saying that, the East-End was a lot safe for the majority of people especially old ladies like Mrs. Nicholson, there were no drugs, muggings were practically unheard of, and if anyone hurt an OAP they would be signing their death warrant. If Pauls brother had lived in the East-End 40 years ago, he would definately have gone round to look after his sick mother. The alternative would have been emigration!

Hello prince, have now started to boycott Heinz products in protest against J. Nicholson!

Hello cherryandwhite, now thats REALLY going to help pauls mum! Can't you northeners come up with something better to help the old lady!

Paul, I have done a bit of enquiring and there is a manager at Heinz called Mr. Nelson from Marsh Green or Worseley Hall.
I will try to contact him this week and ask for his help, he can only say that he will have a word with your brother but I cant guarantee it. All the best.

Cherryandwhite, have been reading this thread for last couple of days. Just wanted to say I know James, he lives at City Road, Kitt Green and is indeed a manager at Heinz's. His wife likes a drink
(ahem) so I think thats one of the reasons he never visits his mother, maybe SHE wont let him. I dont know his brother, only that he lives in Switzerland and comes over about 10 times a year. Maybe Pauls mum should move over there. Anybody else have any ideas?

Hiya Snowman, do you live in Kitt Green as well? I know that certain people like a drink, or more than a drink sometimes, but your mum's your mum. Not being sexist (I hope) but you can have a number of wives during your lifetime, but youve only got one mother! ...oops is that the wife?

Hello cherryandwhite, no I dont live in Kitt Green, but I used to drink in the New Inn. I used to live in Scholes and am pretty sure that I know coccium. I think its terrible that someone can just turn their backs on their mother especialy if the lady in question is 88. I for one would not be to frightened to pull this fellow up if I see him in the street as I am now retired and dont eat beans anyway.

Cherryandwhite, just seen a message from dannyboy1948 who has worked for Heinz for over 22 years. Seems a nice guy. He may be able to help you get in touch with JN.

snowman,you say you may know me I dont know many from Scholes but I was born in Orchard st and brought up in School st for a while, moved to Worsley Hall in 1947 went to St Marys school till 1955.
Worked my butt off since then, semi retired now.I know a lot of people mentioned on this thread. Can you give me a clue about who you are,your name dont ring a bell.

Hello Coccium, I'm sure that I have met you, but can't be 100% certain. I was born in Wigan (hardybutts) and lived in Sovereign Road. My Dad died when I was 8 and my mother married again. Hence the name Green, I was christened Forshaw, my new dad was in the army , so was in and out of a lot of different schools up and down the county and in Germany. I used to knock about with (among others) John Sharples, Billy Telford, Billy Melling, Terry Hollingsworth, Ken Blackledge (RIP), Harold Roper, Keith Winard, Jimmy Priest and a lot more I have unfortunately forgotten. Moved back to Wigan (permenantly) last year after 11 years in Bolton. Joined WW because I read about old Mrs. Nicholson and how her youngest son is treating her. I know the other brother Paul, and its not fair whats happening. You seem to be one of the "Old Boys", is there nothing you can do Coccium, otherwise people will forget and start talking about Dave Wheelen again!

I know each one of them you mention and will have a word with them when I see them.Other than that theres very little one can do under the circumstances you can not force anyone do do something they do not want to do. Do you know Cliff Gordon.

Better than you Coccium (I think) do you know ANYONE that works at Heinz, Jimmy Nicholsons photo is in tonights Wigan Observer, the low-life!
p.s. forgot to mention Alan Doran (dingy)

Dont know anyone who works at Heinz but know Dinghy though.

Cherryandwhite, did you manage to contact your Mr. Nelson? I will definately try and get down to Wigan soon, do you fancy a drink or 2 with me, and what are the "in" pubs in Wigan? Keep in touch

Hello prince, so your thinking about coming up north to drink with real men! When are you coming? In fact if Wigan beat the Frenchies in the semi-final, I will be coming up to see YOU (without my whippet). Concerning JN, will be going in to my local club (St Judes) on Sunday to have a chat with a couple of people and will see what happens. Personally a good thump from one of the rugby lads should do the trick.

Hello empress, not spoke to you before, but have just heard (read) you work in care service, what are your thoughts about the situation concerning this old lady Mrs. Nicholson in this thread?

Cherryandwhite, when is the rugby final, is it at the new Wembley stadium? you could come down here for a good knee's-up dawn the East-End, but you would have to keep your mouth shut for fear of frightening my mates, and then I could come up to the Saint Judes club and frighten all your mates! Let me know.

Hello prince, unless you are over 6 feet and weight 17 stone, there's not much chance of frightening anyone in St Judes (maybe soome of the women)! When you come to Wigan I will take you into the Clarence and Last Orders to test your powers of observation and buy some cheap cigs!

Hi cherryandwhite, just been talking to Terry Hollingsworth, he will be in St Jude's tomorrow with his little lad Sam and the wife, tell Joe Fitsimmons I was asking about him, will be over in the UK soon, so the ales on me. All the best Paul

Hi Paul, will you be coming down to London if Wigan make the finals? You can stop at my place and I/we could show you the sights (London Eye, Tussauds etc.) Let me know what your planning ang give my regards to your son, he's the biggest man in Switzerland I've seen! Take care and regards to Winnie.

Cherryandwhite, think I have a result for you, been talking to one of his neighbours and apparently he's not a nice man! Ring me on my mobile and I will tell you more.

Hello prince, spoke to Winnie on the phone this morning, she told me to tell you thanks for the flowers and the photo, your welcome to come and stay in Wigan at her house if you like, but insists on seperate bedrooms! What a sense of humour for a lady of 88.

Cherryandwhite, got a card from Billy Hinnigan today, says he will be back from his holidays on Friday. He will be in the Last Orders Saturday night, if you want to meet him, he will be with his missus and wearing a black leather jacket. Why not have a couple of drinks together with him and discuss Mrs. N ?

Does anyone remember Phil the West Indian
who worked at Heinz?.I myself worked there for a while In 1959 during at visit to Wigan at Standish,I think the Queen
opened Kitt Green about that time.My cousin Stan Morley was a boss at Standish then.

Keno, I think I remember Phil, we were doing the roofing at Standish at that time (Pendlebury's) and I was working with Geoff Pendlebury and Tommy Clark from Goose Green. He used to say he could always get us some "Wacky Backy" although I never took him up on his offer. Keno, is there no one still working there now that you can remember? it would realy us help old Mrs, Nicholson if you could recall someone. Please let us know.

The only person I realy to knew that could have helped was Stan Morley .Like you say he left years ago,I last saw Stan was at Kitt Green In 1984 ,he was a bigger boss ,had a nice big office,he offered my Son a job while he was on holiday In Wigan.My Son declined the offer ,he wanted a holiday ,he was too busy chasing the local Girls he loved their accent.Phil was a bit of a character liked to rub shoulders with people he thought had money,he liked to drink at The Bellingham Hotel,I liked The
Dickens.I made a mistake with the name of pub It was The Brocket Arms I liked.

Hi Keno, thanks for that, I like the dickens as well, but lately is has not been doing a lot of business. Have only been in the Bellingham for a swift half about 5 or 6 times after visiting sick friends in Wigan Infirmary. Still dont know anyone (high-up) in Heinz, although its always nice to read comments posted by yourself, coccium, 1934granada and ozzielass, we'll all have to meet up one day in the flesh (not literally) see ya

What is this about this Heinz company, are they like the mafia? We had less problems with Charlie and his brother. why ae you northern lads so frightened?

Prince, we are not as scared as you think, but when your jobs on the line and you have a family to think about you dont act in haste. If someone doesent get the sack for watching porn during the night shift, do you think the company will be bothered about someone who neglects his mother? Get real. BTW his photo was in last weeks observer at some footbal presentation at a working mens club.

I think this thread has gone awry. The bottom line is, if someone has to force this b*****rd to look after his mother, do you really think that's what his mother would want? She's better off with other people, friends,welfare or otherwise that would do it willingly. And do you honestly think that someone who seems to have no moral responsibilites at all is capable of looking after an elderly person. He would probably let her down and neglect her and that would be even worse. I just hope she gets the care she needs.

Hi Snowman, I was out and about in Wigan yesterday in the car and saw J Nicholson, would have pulled up and given him a piece of my mind but he was obviously drunk and the "woman" he was with was more drunk than him! Hopeless.

Ah..... Old people ....... You can't beat 'em ............ more's the pity!!!

You find being old funny b8mex, but don't forget one day you'll be old yourself, and if your close relatives wont help or have anything to do with ya you'll soon stop laughing.

Amen to that cherryandwhite, note he has'nt replied yet. I will say it again ANYONE who ignores an elderly parent is not fit to be called a man(or woman) and I dont care who takes offence, people should unite in condemming such people and not making bad taste jokes.

hi paul things not getting any better re your brother went to see your your mother told mr you are back in switzerland still not seen or heard nothing of your brother well dont worry i will keep my eyes on your mother even though i work 55 hours aweek i can find time if she needs anything she knows my phone no cant understand why your jimmy cant find time to go round you get a good conversation with your mum and a good laugh its his loss and one day hes regrate

Hello Billy, always good to hear from you. Did you and Margarite have a nice holiday? Thanks for popping in to my mothers when your in Wigan, I know you work long hours, but if it wasn't for friends like you and a couple more that help I/we would be realy up stream without the proverbial paddle! Anyway will be coming back again in July, the customs in Manchester airport think I'm an international playboy or drugs courier because I'm there so often, I'm even on first name terms with the railway station ticket seller. Look after yourselfs and give my regards to Amy (not)

Hiya Paul, tell me when your next coming over to Wigan again and we'll meet up and have a drink together. Was talking to an old mate of mine (AL Caine) who used to play at Wigan Tech. in St Judes last week and he told me the best thing is to get in touch with someone at the Wigan Observer or Evening Post who could maybe write something not to slanderous that would shanme your brother into going round and seeing his elderly mother. p.s. have heard that a lot of people working for Heinz have heard/read this thread, maybe they will say something to him.

Paul, give me your mothers address and I will pop in to see her next week if thats alright. I can have a chat and do a bit of shopping if she needs it. Your brothers a tosser! Your mother is better off without him.

Paul, just keep on looking after your mother as best you can, the other B*****d will get his come-uppance sooner than he thinks!

Thanks for the kind words Prince, when will you be going up to Wigan? Will put in a good word for you in the Clarence and Swan and Railway!

Paul, dont tell him to go into the Clarence or Swan and Railway. The moon under the water is the best pub in the town center now that the Raven and Crofters have shut down. p.s. still working on the Wigan Observer angle, dont give up hope.

Just want to say Bravo to all the cowards who work for Heinz and who are to afraid to tell this low-life to go and visit his mother, be proud of yourselves! You'll probably get a raise next year!

Paul, can you give me a ring again when your in England, I've misplaced your telephone number. p.s. dont fly to Glasgow

Cherryandwhite I will be in Wigan middle of July for 4 days to pick up my mother. Do you fancy a pint (or two) before I go back? Spoke to Billy Hinnigan yesterday and he's been a real friend. Went and done some shopping for my mum and then took her out for a ride round, so its beers all round when I come over.

Paul, would it be OK if I came down for the weekend that week you are back? you could show me around Wigans nightlife, maybe we would bump into your brother. Anyway let me know and are there any B&B's in Wigan you can recommend?

Have read this thread a few times. To be honest I think apart from immediate family telling the errant son to get stuffed, no one else would gain from tackling him. Definately not his poor mum, likely he'd resent being made to see her, and that'd make her miserable around him.Unfortunately we can't pick our families, mores the pity in cases like this.I'm sure the good son more than makes up for the other prat .
Personally if he was my son I'd tell him to sling his hook if he did turn up after all this time.You can't replace mums , shame on him for wasting these last few precious years.

Hi empress, just read your message and have to say there's more sense in your comments than the whole of this thread put together. I dont want anyone to force or threaten him to go round, but my mothers 88 years young and confined to a wheelchair, so if I dont go over to England every three weeks, she dosen't get out of the house and although she is 88, she has all of her faculties, so its like being in prison for her and if it wasn't for the good neighbours and friends
doing her shopping and her neice doing a little cleaning, she would be lost. All of the people who help my mother are all working, one of them works 6 days a week and another one runs a stall on Wigan market, so its not always easy for them as well. I just dont know what to do, but thanks for bothering to write. Paul

"You cant replace Mums"
Empress, that is so true and the same goes for Dads has well.

"Force or threaten"? You should'nt need to force or threaten someone to go and visit their mother. I still say a good smacking wouldn't do any harm!

Prince (mark) your not helping the cause with comments like that, nobody should "get a good slapping" or be beaten up. If you cant write something constructive, I suggest you should'nt write anything at all. Peace

Hi cherryandwhite, sorry if I gave the wrong impression, I didnt realy mean someone should beat this fellow up. I was just being sarcastic. Its a cockney trait, but I can also laugh and make fun of myself. I just wanted to cheer paul up and show him somebody cares. Peace to you.

Hiya cherryandwhite I dont think prince is completely off the mark, maybe a good slapping would make him think twice. I still think embarrasment is your best weapon though!

Hi Paul, think that I have an explanation for your brothers behaviour. Was talking to George Monks in the club and he said Jimmy's new wife is very jealous and dosn't want him to have contact with "outsiders"! Will speak to you on the phone next Friday night.

Oh,thank god thats all cleared up then cherryandwhite. Outsiders! your mother, what planet is he living on?

Thats disgusting. Wasn't he's wife an "outsider" at one time.

Paul, you may have already tried this but if not could you not get help from social services? They can send somebody round everyday so she has someone to talk to and maybe even take her out for the day.

Don't mean to be rude but it sounds like you mother is better off without him even though it must hurt her.

Hello Sue.64, thanks for taking an interest, unfortunately my mother is one of the "old school" and fiercly independent, even though she is wheelchair bound she still does not like to ask anyone for anything and as for social services I have not tried them, but its probably a good idea. But one thing your right about is my "ex" brother and thats being rude! Will not be eating any Heinz products again, that will teach him Ha Ha!

your right paul the old school are fiercely independant. used to have an old couple across from me.. both very proud people. the only person they asked for help was me.. came home from work one day and the old girl asked me to come across.. the old guy had fallen from bed and had been on the floor for summat like 8 hours, awful aint it. just glad they came to me

What I can't understand is why the Heinz company dont do or say anything, there always going on about how caring they are and all the money they raise for charity but in this case only silence, very puzzling!

ur getting a good run on this thread cherryandwhite

Have finished now levi1962, just makes my blood boil, the injustice and ignorance of the man. How can anybody ignore their own mother? Mind you if I was as big as you I might carry on and do something drastic, but it would be me who'd then get into trouble Doh!

i know first hand how selfish ur own family can be my mum had a stroke and not one of her four sisters bothered to visit her or just phone to see how she was at her funeral two years ago only her youngest sister came

Hello levi1962, that is unbelievable! How can they live with themselves after that?
I mean what excuse can you come up with for missing your own sisters funeral or any other close families funeral for that matter? I'm losing faith with the human race, good god when I get to the stage where I cant look after myself I will seriously think about topping myself!

Paul, i know what you mean about being very proud and not asking for help from anyone.
My fella's mum was the same and at first she went mad when he contacted the social services.
She was vicious to the poor woman who come & was always threatning to "kick 'em up the backside with me slipper!" it was awful at first. But after half an hour of talking she agreed to humour us and try it for "ONE DAY ONLY". . . that was 8weeks ago lol and now i don't think she could be without them, it makes the world of difference for her having somebody who will sit there and talk for a while. And it puts everyones mind at rest knowing she's safe.

Sorry for going on just thought i'd try and help, but every person is different and you know your mum better than anyone.
I hope things look up soon *hugs*

paul ,, sad to say but true.. when summat happens the old girl, you will be fightin him off,, he will come out the woodwork then,, nature of the animal that is your ex brother, he will want to know then.. mark my words.. but sincerely hope its a long time comin for you. past experience you see

Levi, i'm sorry you had to go through that with your mother & her sisters it must have been hard.

Cherryandwhite,
"I mean what excuse can you come up with for missing your own sisters funeral"

I'm not talking abut Levi's experience just funerals in general (as only Levi will know the reasons why). Although it does seem harsh some people simply can't face saying goodbye like that. It takes alot of strength to go to a funeral especially somebody close, but it also takes strength to not go, knowing you will NEVER get that chance again and may live to regret it.
Some people simply cannot cope with the last memories of their loved ones being lowered into the ground like that.
I've only been to one burial and it's hard not to get those images in my head when i visit to put flowers down.

Saying that, i suppose theres also alot of people out there who genuinely just do not care enough to go.

What I can't understand is why the Heinz company dont do or say anything, there always going on about how caring they are and all the money they raise for charity but in this case only silence, very puzzling!


Maybe because its nothing to do with Heinz as to whether an employee visits his mother or not.

Hello tinkerbell, thanks for the advice. I did once contact the social services and they were sympathetic and sent a home-help around to make the bed and give my mother her breakfast., but after two weeks this lady went on her holidays and her replacement never showed up. So my mother (without my knowledge) rang the social and told them she was now "better" and didnt need anyone anymore! I only found out when I returned to England a month later. As you say every person is different and as my mother says "the neighbours are always popping in" BTW the neighbours are also all over 75. Hugs to you to tinkerbell, take care Paul

seamonkey2 what a to**er

cherryand white why reply like that I was voicing an opinion. I dont know you or the people at heinz I was joining in the debate with my own opinion. Why would you call me a name? How very rude you are.

Hello Sue64, I sincerely hope your wrong but I've a funny feeling your right, and your not the first one to say that either. From the tone of your comments it seems youve been there yourself. Then again my mother has no assets or property so if he wont come now, the only reason he'll come after she has passed on is to save face and play the mourning game, just hope my mother outlives him (and me). Look after yourself. Hugs Paul

Hello seamonkey2, am sorry, thought you were trying to be sarcastic (also thought you were a bloke) I apologize.

No I wasnt being sarcastic cherrywhite thanks for being man enough to say sorry. It was my opinion thats all

Yeh! was in a bad mood, should not log-on when Iv'e burned my supper!

You northeners kill me, how on earth can you burn mushy pee's?

The silence is shattering, I was only JOKING!

Hey Paul, sorry my advice wasn't much good was just trying to help and didn't realise you'd already gone down that path.I can't believe her replacemant never showed up. Thats terrible. As for your mum ringing them, they can be sneaky these mothers can't they lol bless 'em. My fella's mum used to wait til the lady had gone then feed her tea to next doors cat til we found out .

hey prince any chinese chippy will show u how

Yeh, levi1962 your not known for your culinary expertise up north, I thought you had black puddings every day and tripe for a treat on sundays

Hi Tinkerbell, oh contre! your advice was sound, but my mother realy did cancel the home help, as for giving the food away I had to laugh because my mothers next door neighbour keeps a rabbit as a pet!
Will be coming back to the UK in two weeks and will definately sort something out on a permanent basis, but there's no way she's going into a home. Take care. Paul

hi paul.. yes your right .. have been there and its not always about money or estate.. sometimes its just the little treasures your loved ones hold dear. suddenly they want a memento or a memory and you find your self thinking.. hold on you didnt remember them when they where here. sad fact paul but very true

Hi Paul any news on your brother, has the pressure told and has he been to visit his mother yet?

Hi prince (mark) no not heard anything and she's been a bit poorly this week, I dont know maybe one day his concience will prick him, but by then it could be to late. Take care Paul

hi paul. sorry to haer yor mums not too good.. hope she improves

hey there's nothing wrong with the tripe, the black puddings are another thing

Hi Paul, Prick being the operative word!

Prince, why dont you come to Wigan, I will show you the way to Kitt Green and you can go and sort the b**tard out. Are you game?

Prince, why so quiet? always said you southeners are all mouth and no trousers (strides) come down here and sort him out, come on!

Cherryandwhite please stop trying to wind up prince, he's only trying to help in his "unorthordox" way. I think youve frightened him off for good now! No news to tell on the home front, but should anything happen I will let you know straight away. p.s. will you be going into St Judes this weekend? p.p.s Its snowing in Switzerland today, so much for summer!

Hi Paul, sorry about prince didnt mean to upset him. Yes I will be going into St Judes today but dont hold out to much hope that you-know-who will be in. Spoke with George Monks last week and he told me that your brother lives in City Road, Kitt Green but is not that well liked up there, so dont know where he drinks or frequents. Should anything new happen will let you know immediately. Feel realy sorry for your mum, give her my regards

Hi paul, dont worry this (annonymous) user has not frightened me off, we have just been down to Shepton Mallet for a few days camping. When I get my wits together and have more time I will reply in FULL to Mr. cherryandwhite. Stay lucky.

Prince, good news I have found someone who works at Heinz and he seems like a nice bloke. Will keep you posted.

Cherryandwhite, have sent a message to wigan1957 on another thread, if anything happens I will let you know, cheers.

Hello all have not been on Wigan World for a bit, but a little bird told me that something had happened tonight. Thank you very much Mr. Wigan1957, just heard what you did and have to say I am humbled that someone has tried to help someone that they have never met. I dont want to say too much about my brother, its he's loss not mine should something happen to me mum, she's not getting any younger but once again thanks to ALL Wigan World members you are all diamonds (even prince) and all my friends that have rallied around especially Billy Hinnigan, Steve Smith, Joe Fairclough Terry Hollingsworth, Billy Telford and anyone else that I've forgotten to mention. I'm more than gratefull. God bless you all!

Well I for one recken we can close this thread now. Wigan1957 has done more than anyone to bring about a change of heart in Messrs J. Nicholson. Nobody can change or alter this mans character. If he can stand by and watch a 88 year old woman struggle because he wont help, then god help him because surely what goes around comes around. Thanks to all participants (including prince). Good luck to everyone.

Originally posted by Josie 19/07/07 (see Guestbook) and as per her request:

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and
four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table.
But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There,
Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!
When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before
supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the
floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless Then
tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the table cloth soiled.
On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt
on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if
you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I
usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.
People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn!

Absolutely amazing, have not read anything like that before, takes your breath away. Thank you

Cherryandwhite have to contact you using this thread, dont know any other way. Can you drop me a line at my email address before tuesday? Got some new info on you-know-who!

A family affair.
Always a mixture
Of people in chairs.
Permanent fixtures
With pressure to bear.
People who care.
This is a family affair.

Thanks for sharing that with us Tonker, although what its got to do with this thread is beyond me! (you been drinkin again?)

Hiya snowman, whats all the exitement? Have tried your postmaster address, but I keep getting an error reply. So whats up?

Hi Cherryandwhite, wigan1957, and Sue_64 your not going to believe this , but have heard that Mr. J. Nicholson has applied to be a....... magistrate!! What happens if someone is up for watching illegal porn? Have heard of "doctor heal thyself" but "judge, judge thyself" dosn't have the same ring about it

You ARE joking of course?

Cherryandwhite, am NOT joking. Was talking to his Ex on saturday night in the moon, and she spilled the beans (as well as most of her drink) apparently he's helped the bobbies in the past, done jury service and this is the next step up for him. Frightening init?

ha ha ha ha ha ...am i going to wind him up at work,cant wait till i tell the rest of the lads.

on my god... that takes the bloody biscuit

Wigan 1957, wouldnt do that if I was you. If your ever up before him, he'll send you down for sure!! (even for a TV licence)

Dont know about sending somebody down, somebody should put him down

dont think dave will care ... hes a rum bu.... he,ll take the risk

agreed cherry

Sue64 said ......... 'that takes the bloody biscuit'...

Munchety munch
this is the punchline,
crunchety crunch
they last you a lunchtime,
who can resist it?
Who can be so square?
I travel in biscuits,
getting me nowhere.
I had to risk it,
I had to go there,
I travel in biscuits
getting me nowhere.
I look like a misfit,
no one i know is there,
I travel in biscuits
getting me nowhere.

Biscuits, I reckon he's crackers!

cherryandwhite saw your "mate" over the weekend, gave me an evil look, thinks he recognizes me, maybe its all in the mind!

you have a talent that has gone amiss in here tonks, but i spotted it right off.
your good, is it your own work????

What talent, he probably got that from out of the Beano or Topper! He's realy got problems if its "all-his-own" work!

I know him personaly,He is bonkers,but you cant help but like him.I recon some of his prose refers to B8OMEX,

Hey, Gareth, Who are you calling 'bonkers'? Talk about t'kettle calling t'pot black. Which one of those 'john cooper clarke' poems do you think refers to Geoff? I reckon the 'Health Fanatic' is a bit 'Geoff' at the moment (he's the only one of us losing weight, so he must be doing something right!)


PS .... there's two l's in personally, Gareth. Come on, don't let the side down.

Right with health fanatic,Your wrong about loosing weight though,Ive not had a cig now for 30 days and joined a gym,I also go to the pub at night on a bike,I go home in a taxi with the bike in the back.

gareth, whats the name of the "bike" ?

Hi cherry thanks for the note. I think thats a good idea to send him a print out of all the comments written on WW, although I wouldnt know how to do it myself (technical idiot) but you could drop a line to Brian, I^m sure he'd help you. Anybody else know how to print out the complete contents of a thread?

Have already worked it out snowman, would love to see his face when he realizes everyone knows what a callous individual he really is, especially his co-workers at Heinz!

Prince ... 'gareth, whats the name of the "bike" ?'

I can answer that one, it'll be a pale blue 'Jim Soens' racer, from the early seventies, with quick release wheels. I think he got it off ...... er, ..... sorry, the name escapes me for the minute!

I thought he was talking abaht a cockney bike (slapper)!

Why do I feel that I have to apologise to somebody? {?]

Calling Billy Hinnigan, have not heard from you in ages, are you still with us Billy?

Tonker,you are always on about Johnny Pickton,I have two bikes,one a Strongbow mountain bike and the other a Pashlie unicycle,Id like to see you ride that Tonker.

hi paul i am still breathing heard your jimmy is about to become a magistrate now that is a fox in gharge of chickens can you imagine him in gharge of acase for drunk and disordley it will become very embarising for him just imagine a case of neglegt wonder if that would make him think about himself and his mother

Hey Billy, glad to know your still alive and breathing, a magistrate you say, nothing surprises me anymore in England, you'll be scrapping smoking in pubs next!!
Will give you a bell next week, look after yourself, best wishes to wigan1957 and Tonker

Hello Billy, not heard from you for a bit. Have sent some "literature" to Heinz relating to Mr. Nicholson and a copy to his house as well. Spoke to George last Sunday and apparently he was given a good bollocking last week in Goose Green Working Mens for neglecting his mum.

Paul "best wishes to wigan1957 and Tonker" what about me? Is it cause I'm a southener

Sorry about that prince (mark) I didnt leave you out intentionally. Hope everything is Ok down your neck of the woods and the family is keeping well. I'm off to watch the derby game this afternoon with my son. Its Young Boys V FC Basel, should be a full house and the weather is beutifull. Have a nice weekend.

Didnt realise you liked Young Boys paul

Prince, of course I love Young Boys! They are the best team in Switzerland and yesterday they beat Basel 5-1 to go top of the league in front of 26.000 thousand supporters. Champions League here we come:

Paul, are Young Boys Bern an amateur team, cos nobody seems to have heard of them over here!

Paul, I have heard of them, I think they played in a European semi-final in 1959, but Liverpool they are not!!

Hello snowman, I admit they may not be too famous in England but Hartlepool United are not so well known in Switzerland either!

Hiya Paul, its Winnies birthday on monday. please say hello from me and Valerie and the kids and tell her that we will be thinking about her. Are you taking her out for a good Swiss nosh?
Anyway enjoy the day and be gratefull you still have her. p.s. dont suppose she will get a card from your brother!!

Hi prince, actually its Tuesday, but thanks for the thought anyway. I dont suppose she'l get a card from him either.

Give Winnie my regards Paul and many happy returns, my mother used to work at Taylors cotton mill in Wallgate and knew your mother very well, she also used to go to the British Legion every Saturday night for the Bingo. I probably miss her more now than when she died 7 years ago!

Happy birthday Winnie!!! Please pass the message on Paul

Billy H, are you still there? Heard you got pulled for speeding, maybe your case will be heard by Jimmy Nick, its looking bad!!

Cherryandwhite and friends, you have all gone quiet, whats the latest news on old Mrs. N ??

Hi snowman, yeah its all quiet on the western front. I think we have taken it as far as we can, it dosen't seem to have made any difference, the man must have a heart of stone nothing seems to embarrass him. He's just an ignorant person full stop

hi, wish her happy birthday from me and tinker please

Will pass the message on Sue, thanks for the thought

thankyou cherry, thats much appreciated

Hello Sue, thanks for the birthday wishes, me mothers well chuffed, tell us when its your birthday and we'll send you our best wishes as well

oooh. not till next year.. but ey , its our silver weddin in october,,, does that count ,, that aside give her our heartfelt best wishes

Hiya Sue it will be my birthday soon, so dont forget ME!!

tell us when it is then paul

Sue, the names Prince (mark) not Paul

dead sorry honest MARK

Is it caus'e I'm a southener?

dont know what you mean

Have never been to Wigan Sue, have only heard about it through a family I met in Switzerland who helped us when our car broke down. I still keep in touch with them and they (he) originally came from Wigan. I come from a little town north of London called High Wycombe (and we dont eat tripe)

me either, eurrrrgh, nasty stuff, ,i did 15 years in butchery and could never even handle that stuff. you must visit sometime tho.. no tripe .. i promise

Would love to come up to Wigan one day Sue, have been reading the threads on Wigan World and have to admire (and laugh at) the humour of some of the people on the site, although this particular thread is anything but funny

no kid, its serious is this one, and from the replies you can see that is how its been taken,, us wigginers love a laugh but most of us know when summats not reet, if tha gets mi drift=

Sue, "summats not reet", does that mean "something is not right, or is it some kind of ryming slang just used by the locals? Your right about the content of the thread though, pretty heavy stuff. Never mind off to the Notting Hill Carnival, do you have carnivals in Wigan.
Take care

Hiya Prince thats exactly what it means

Sorry for being a bit thick danni, its just I've never heard language like that before (especially in High Wycombe)

nowt wrong wi bein a bi thick owd lad

Less of the "owd lad" danni, I bet you couldnt speak cockney ryming slang!!

I'm sure I couldn't

Exactly, but if I came to Wigan, would I pick up the local lingo fast or is it really difficult? If the worse came to the worse I could always revert to the Kings English (you do understand the Kings English in Wigan) ?

Anyway must go, Forest Gump is on Film 4

of course we understand the kings english, and most of us speak it up here

danni, didnt mean to offend you, but when I hear true northeners speaking I don't understand a word. Yesterday was at a carnival and heard every dialect under the sun, exept Wigan talk.......

you didnt offend me yer daft lummox

The inviteable question! Whats a lummox?

my gran always used it when one of us was being a bit silly !

Prince, danni is being diplomatic, I could tell you a few more "choice" words that we use down here for describing southeners

Oi Cherry I wasnt being diplomatic, it was a turn of phrase I was using to tell him not to be so daft cos he didnt offend me

Alright danni, I was only trying to wind him up, you have to admit he sometimes asks some daft questions

Cherry, no such thing as a daft (silly) question, only daft (silly) answers. Anyway Emmerdale is on, Bye

Prince, I could teach you "Wigan Speak" but could you put us up for a week or two in London for our autumn holidays

You can't pass High Wycombe as London, Prince. The Wiganers might believe you, though, because they'll be thinking that anywhere south of Liverpool is in London.

Hello Tonker, your thinking of Luton (as all northerners do) but High Wycombe is 30 mins away from Central London (Kings Cross) but your right in one way, Wiganers will believe anything! Four legs good, two legs bad!

scusee Mr Princep you is being a mite cheeky about us good northern folk LOL

Danni, (again) I love northerners, am not being cheeky, its just I've never been north of Watford, but one day I wwould like to come to Wigan and especialy Blackpool (seen it on the telly) what a tower!!

Got to go, Bouncers is on the TV

deary me Prince you have to get to grips with our sense of humour

if hes from watford he aint got a sense of humour i know ive been there

Gary, I'm not from Watford, are you from Crewe? (you have to get to grips with my sense of humour)

Hi Prince, come up to Wigan and I will show you the sights, you'll soon pick up the local lingo, not to sure about the local humour though

Hello Cherry, I have a very good sense of humour and we have some very good comedians down here in London. By the way, have you had any success with this thread you started?

Prince, if your being serious I have to say that all our efforts have been vain!
People have had their say on here, folks have spoken to him in the street and we have even had some of is working "colleages" having a word with him, so unless someone is a lot cleverer than me, there's not a lot more I/we can do

Yer did your best cherry, you can do no more

Cherry, next time Wigan (football) are playing "dahn sauf" give us a bell and I will see if I can get tickets, although I dont follow any specific team myself!

Hiya Prince, thanks for the invitation, unfortunately I am a dyed-in-the-wool Wigan rugby league supporter, but if QPR ever join super league, we will make a weekend out of it

Hello Cherry, I donr even know where QPR play, just that unfortunately one of their players got killed in a car crash last week, a very young kid too. Very sad!

Yes, prince sorry to hear about that. I think he was only 24 as well

Cherryandwhite, do YOU do the times cryptic crossword puzzle or do you read the Viz?

You DO ask some daft questions Prince, no I dont do the times crossword puzzle but I do play fives and threes and am not too bad at draughts either, why do you ask?

Because I thought that there was a lack of intelectual intelligence in Wigan!

you cheeky monkey!!!

I didnt mean to be insulting danni, but you have to admit a lot of the political, literary, sportmen and entertainers all (nearly all) come from down south!

Prince, you do have a way with words, but youve probably got a good heart. BTW what do you do for a living?

Mark, are you still there?

sorry Cherry, I was a bit busy. I used to be in the army, but now I work as a painter and decorator but am not in it for the money, it just keeps me occupied. Like going on holidays though

Just noticed, even though optimus usually gives his views on everything under the sun, he's not posted anything on this thread. Is there a reason for this, either he's intelectual level his higher than most or does he just not like me

Just looking in again,this thread seems endless.As an oldie(now73)I look out of my window in my sheltered accomodation and look at the entrance to the nursing home across the road,then I pray to God that I end my days in here where I am.....
Note:- The care in the nursing home is fantastic,with lots of dedicated staff...

Hello Bryn, glad to hear that your still enjoying life to the full. As for being an oldie at 73 I just want to tell you that there are people over here still climbing mountains well into their eighties! Am glad to hear that the carers in the nursing home are doing their jobs well. As for myself my mother is still over here (she will be speaking Swiss German soon) but it cannot last forever, but as I try to point out to people " I am not a carer, I am a son!

Hello Paul!! I thought that you were dead, in jain, kidnapped or something, glad to have you back with us. Hows Winnie? is she still in Switzerland? she will be jodelling next. Will be able to tell you something new about you-know-who if you drop me a line. Give my regards to Winnie and hope to see you soon.

Hiya Paul, good to hear from you again, where have you been? Nice philosophy " I am not a carer, I am a son" More people should think like that instead of the "what can I get for free" brigade

Paul, how is your mum doing? Can you tell her we were asking about her. Also got a new car and if we get the chance, will pop up to Wigan one of these days

Hiya prince (Mark) thanks for asking about my mum, I will pass the message on, good luck with your new car, next time you come over here dont forget the snow chains

Hi Paul, no I wont forget the snow chains, but I dont think we will be coming over there any time soon (unless I win the lotto) its just too expensive for me £9 a pint, I'd be tea-total inside a week

£9 a pint, its £12 now for a pint of guinness!

Paul. £12 now for a pint of guinness! Do you EVER go out for a drink? I was in Austria in 2002 on a coach trip for 10 days and a pint of lager was 6 pound then. I'm going to stop critizing my local its only one ninety for a double rum

Hi snowman, there are clubs in the west end where £12 wouldnt buy you a bag of crisps (pork scratchings in your part of the world)

prince, I always thought that you were a bit different, but if youd pay 12 pound for a bag of crisps then your completely barmy

£12 for a bag of crisps and he reckons we are unintelligent

Danni, do you think I'm stupid? £12 is for a big bag!

it would have to blooming ginormous for that price

Danni, being seious (realy) I didnt say that I would pay £12 for a bag of crisps, but there are some people around who would'nt bat an eyelid. The main thing is that they are gaining access to a certain club or restaurant where its goood to see and be seen. Dont you have anything like that in Wigan?

no we are too provincial

danni, what does that mean?

we are only a little northern town prince but full of good folk who wouldnt dream of paying £12 for abag of crisps ergo no places like that up here

danni, I take your point, but what about when you go abroad for your holidays, or attend a football match or when you come down here? I'm not in favour of paying extorbicant prices, but sometimes there no other option! p.s. hope thats not your real photo in your profile

Ooops, Emerdale's on

Is this the longest thread in the world

its getting there I think

Advertisements are on!

Prince last time I went to London I was 14 and havent been abroad for 4 years but when I do I go all inclusive which pic do you mean me or JD?

Bet you don't watch National Geograpic prince, Eastenders, Emmerdale and Corrie must be your staple diet and your always going on about us northeners

its watching those makes him think we are all like that

snowman your right I DO watch and enjoy all those programs, there's no swearing, not much violence, no graphic sex and the story lines are easy to understand. I'll bet you work in Tesco's or a butchers shop or some other intelectual profession when you can deduce facts like that!
BTW danni who is JD?

Johnny Depp

danni, is Johny Depp your dream man? Dianna Ross is my dream woman (after Gail Platt of course)

is he ever LOL wouldnt kick him out

Is someone coming round with the popcorn shortly

lost me stel

Cos this thread is so long its like watching a film, it takes so long to read it all

right sorry

£12 for a bag of popcorn stel, youve got to be joking

Prince, wish you'd stop blabbering on about crisps and popcorn, the intention of the thread was to draw attention to the plight of old Mrs. Nicholson, I have to admit its been going on now for a long time and has over 4000 "hits", just wish someone could come up with a solution to help the old lady

danni. help ME !!

wots up prince?

Everybody (but you`s) taking the micky out of me

aww bless never mind I started you your very own crisp thread

"Maybe it's because your a Londoner and we hate London town" watcha cock don't start snivelin we laugh at southern softies up here,have yourself a good old cockney knees up and dry your eyes.

"Southern Softies"!!, was watching Corrie yesterday and counted at least four of them cryin their eyes out. Shandy Swillin Northerners!

Says it all,a londoner watching corrie!it's not real me old cock sparra we only make em for you lot down there, the men that is.

I will not dignify that final comment by answering it, cock sparra !

??? some sort of perverted logic there prince, but I don't know what it is

PRINCE
SHANDY SWILLING NORTHERNERS HAS GOT YOU HOOKED GUD AND PROPER

Kenny, take my hat off to you, I love envy!!

Hi prince, thanks for the card. It arrived this morning. Are you always on holiday?

Hi Cherry, actually we have just come back from having a few days in Shepton Mallet. Don't suppose anybody from Wigan would know where that is, so no need to phone a friend its in Somerset not too far away from Yeovil. Beutifull countryside and not a coal tip in sight, the crisps are not soo good though!

Hiya Prince, believe it or not I know where Shepton Mallet is! I took part in a sponsered walk over Salsbury Plains sometime in the eighties and we stayed the night in a pub in Shepton Mallet and I think it was called "The Charlton" the only bad point was the ale (bitter) it was rubbish, no wonder they all drink cider

Hello Snowman, yes I know the pub well, there's only four pubs in the whole of shepton so its not so hard, actually we stay in the Charlton Hotel, but it has no connection to the aformentioned pub, there all charlton something or other because they are all situated somewhere in Charlton Road which is about 4 miles long. There's also a very beutifull pub with a thatched roof near our hotel but I've forgotten the name and their crisps are rubbish!

You'll turn into a bloody crisp one of these days prince

Cherry, there's nothing wrong with liking crisps! Some people collect stamps, some people play billiards or watch football, myself (and my wife) like to eat crisps. Nothing wrong in that

Prince,"myself (and my wife) like to eat crisps", let me guess, you dont have kids, right?

WRONG!! have got 2 boys

you fell for it again prince !

Danni, fell for what? I didnt realy understand the question from snowman (maybe its northern rhyming slang again)! Anyway hope YOUR keeping well danni, would have replied sooner, but I had to give in my crisps order for next week! thev'e run out of smokey bacon!! Unbelievable

Prince, if you mention crisps once again on this thread I will get some crisps and push them up your *^^çèä!!

ive always liked freddie bee crisps myself

Levi. have never heard of freddie bee crisps! Are they realy crisps or it it tongue-in-cheek for something completely different?

no there proper local shop is always getting them

You live and learn. By the way have not heard from Billy Hinnigan for ages, are you still there Billy, what are you up to? lets be hearing from you again!

Cherry, do they play Shinty in Wigan?

hi paul how is your mum doing heard she is still in switserland with you how are you mannaging with your work as well as looking after your mum i asume you havent got any help from your brother he is proably to busy getting his expenses from being jp and spending the proceeds in the pub with is drunken wife

Hiya Billy, good to hear from you again. Yeh she's still over here, she'l be yodelling soon! Have been away from Bern, but am now back and reading WW every day. Terrible to read about the little boy who drowned while people watched, you would be charged with failing to help over here. Was looking at prince's contribution asking if they play shinty in Wigan. What the bloody hell is shinty and is princy on drugs?

Hi Paul, prince is definately on drugs, there called nobby's nuts