General   (General discussion, talk about anything.)

Cherryandwhite it is never easy especially if the elderly relative doesn't want to go - and most of them don't. They want to be in their own house, in their own room that they have been in for xx years. But sometimes they need specialist care, sometimes the carers' health starts to suffer, lifting into showers, baths etc. Also if you are the carer it can be a 24 hr. thing whereas the people in the homes do their shifts then go home. Have you tried social workers or someone associated witht the home? They are usually expert at dealing with these kind of situations and they know how to talk to them and pick out the positive points.

If you are feeling any guilt, a friend of mines parents were elderly and after 48 yrs. of marriage he got too ill and had to go into care, he was in his 70's and eventually it became too much for his wife. He kicked and cursed and called her all the names under the sun going into the back of the ambulance - and this was his wife who had cared for him and that he loved dearly. She had no choice.

Hope it all works out for you mate. Take any help and advice you can get.