Karma

Old, but still stings.

Just bit him

Ouch

That's definitely a repeat that there's nowt wrong with.

Always wonder if the git got a bill for his damage.

What was he thinking.......idiot...obviously didn't realise they are slotted in..

Richard cranium!!!!!!

Sort out the threat

GIRL POWER

So you're giving those pics out to all and sundry I see...

There was me thinking I had got an early Valentine on Gardening.

Apologies, one was for you...The other for dostaf, he likes Morticia.. (He prefers Gomez to be canoodling his arm, but likes to put on an act)

The other Morticia, thank you.

The other Gomez, more like...
Cara Mia indeed.

"Tish! I just love it when you speak French!"
"Don't torture yourself, Gomez, darling. That's my job..."

PINEAPPLE!

WATERMELLON

OOoo, your safe word eh!

The film i have wrote is very much in the vain of the likes of Dog soldiers , The Descent , Severance and is very much geared to keep the viewer entertained



Very Ernie Wise.

M&W

Just thought I would put up my fav fruit...

Hmmm..Fave fruit indeed!

Dostaf....I am penning a film script as I type....Care to add?

Tom enjoys nothing more than to stay out at night, gazing at the stars through his binoculars. The problem is, he likes to hide in bushes in peoples gardens to do his 'studying', he has a particular liking for the Kilmarnock Willow of Elizabeth Tailher, a voluptuous 30 something lollypop woman. (She doesn't work, she is a tall, thin woman with a round sticky head). When Elizabeth’s Husband, ‘Huge Grant’ spots Tom having some kind of seizure in the shrubbery, Huge gives chase. Hilarity ensues.

All star cast including: John the Measurer, Roger More, Dame Judi Drench and Laurence Ilivehere

A seizure you say?

I can see an opening there for some Policewomen and maybe some paramedics.

Happen they could have problems with uniforms getting snagged in the undergrowth.

Are you seeking some sort of 'sponsorship' to make certain plotlines/props disappear?

£50.00 and 'Tom' neither wears a Gannex mac or use Miranda binoclears.

I know a chap who had a transplant op using the kidney of Bennie Hill. He was overcome wih a sudden urge to chase a young nurse around when she happened to walk past a bush he was hiding in. They ran in and out of bushes, weaving through trees and various shrubbery at high speed when he eventually caught up with her and as he got hold of her clothing, her dress came off. The poor girl ended up running about in her skimpies.
He said he couldn't stop himself, it was as if he had been 'posessed by another person'.
Luckily, the Policed arrived, and after another short chase, he was arrested.

The Judge refused his plea of diminished responsibility an he was sent to Prison. So beware of accepting celebrity organs.

Have you accepted a few, or is that graffiti malicious?

Hey, don't shoot the messenger

See, technically you're wrong. Benny never did the chasing.

He was always the not so chaste chased.

Some fine comments on the fillum thread on General

But Benny hill wasn't the chaser, he was just a smnall part in matter.

Can I have a walk on part in the film

Please

Please


Please

YThe part of Tom was written especially for you...
I will be the Alfie Itchcock type character, if you please.

How much are you after?

In inches, or wedge?

Dosh!

Are your rates comparative with the other lad what writted an film on General?

That 'lad' is the same one who wrote the book about Forgotten Lancashire and the lost films by someone or other. The one who pulled the wool over Brian's eyes for a while...
(I think).... erm....

Spatchcock fillums!

He had Brian put the thread on a sticky...

An spoof?

Beltin'

Had camera and laptop nicked.

Edit - ^^^ Mentioned 'lost' not nicked.

My apologies if in wrong context.

Haven't read the thread yet. Will investigate.

You Git!

It may not be a spoof after all.

Set me up good and proper.

See various rewards for putting money up.

Looks rather a wheeze.

Ask a question....

How much for an advertin sign

Del Boy's film about a rampaging rhino in London comes to mind.

Had dozens of local businesses paying him to get a mention in Rodney's film he was making for a college course.

I won't mention the 'Nurse'.

She was a friend of Micky Pearce

Video Nasty

Ah yes.

You want to take part in a smutty movie?

Is it a speaking part.

Reward selection

Pledge £2,000 or more

A executive producer credit and a signed copy of the script that's right you will be titled on the film as a exec producer and be listed on imdb


Limited (4 of 4 remaining)

Estimated delivery: Mar 2014

Ships within the UK only

Yes, you shall play the part of the fluffer....


Is that the fillum?...£2k and you can be in it?

Uk only........bugger.....

Yes, and yes.

If money not raised by end of Feb, ti's a non starter.

HAHAHA, that Mr. Ripley sure is a wheeze!


He goes on the forum, wonder if the same thread os on there?

I have managed to procure you a part. *He typeds breathlessly after running to the studio and back* You are to kiss the gunner's daughter. Hurrah!

I hope there's a safe word for that whip round, Mac.

Can I be the scullery maid...?????
Plllllleeeeaaaaaasssseee......

I've looked for pictures of them, Lizzie.

Upstairs maids are nakkier.

I reckon it's real.

When it comes to risks and challenges there are many I wont lie, I have already struggled to get this project going , I have faced countless knock backs funding wise , I trusted the wrong person and lost my camera laptop and original test footage and met with many of people to work on this only for them to be more committed to other things so they have had to drop out .