Poppycock
"You can't get the poppies"
Plenty of.......
No wonder...etc...
Started: 20th Sep 2011 at 17:47
Replied: 20th Sep 2011 at 17:58
Oooo, all this space, I could get my scalextric out in here.
These trousers could be a little more roomy though.
Replied: 20th Sep 2011 at 18:01
Poppycock you type!
No, just need a wash.
Replied: 20th Sep 2011 at 18:03
Greetings. Pull up a chair.
Keep your back straight and bend your knees.
Replied: 20th Sep 2011 at 18:06
Look what I've found.
See 13:06
Replied: 20th Sep 2011 at 18:12
Last edited by dustaf: 20th Sep 2011 at 18:13:33
Q) How does Batman's mother call him in for tea?
A) She doesn't. She was murdered.
Replied: 20th Sep 2011 at 18:54
I walked into a brothel and asked how much they charged.
It was £50 for a standard massage, and £300 for a massage with a happy ending.
I excitedly handed over my £300, chose which girl I wanted, and walked into a private room.
45 minutes later I walked out, fully satisfied. It was a lovely massage, and by far the best fairytale I'd ever been read.
Replied: 20th Sep 2011 at 18:55
Dear Deirdre...The other day, whilst standing at my bedroom window, I noticed my next door neighbour in her back garden, she was wearing the skimpiest bikini I think I have ever seen, she was sunbathing. From behind the curtains of my bedroom, I proceeded to "practice my fiddle". I turned suddenly to find my wife in the room doorway, silently watching me with her arms crossed. Is my wife a pervert?...help me please...I dont know what to think of her behaviour....
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 09:38
Is this a new foray in the career of Messrs Gwim and dustaf?
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 10:09
I am educating him in the ways of the Gentleman caller, VG.
Leaping out of the bushes during the wee small hours is simply not on!
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 12:47
Typing that...
When my neighbour sees me peering through her window with my binoculars, she immediately closes the curtains. I'm convinced she has something to hide.
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 14:57
May I be so bold as to suggest a header for your next "foray" I liked "twaddle" and I may like "poppycock", but I think Cock and Bull has a certain ring to it.
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 16:44
I did venture a suggestion of Balderdash, or maybe Bunkum, he chose to show his independence and chose Poppycock.
Given the choice, I'll be cock.
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 17:12
Hasnt taken him long, has it?
No wonder... etc....
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 18:09
Sorry posted a pic of my mums party, Still learning
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 18:49
Last edited by erontquay: 21st Sep 2011 at 19:05:12
If they (attempts) don't work, leave them on, so the problem may be visible, Erontquay.
ie Try again on a fresh post.
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 19:06
It wasn't accessible to other WWers though, Erontquay, as it was a secure link. http://s
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 19:12
http://s1176.photobucket.com/albums/x326/picturemethis6/?action=view¤t=DSC00006.jpg This is the same pic that I posted before of my mums party It should be a bull reading a newspaper. God what did I say send in the medics quick
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 19:17
http://s1176
See Jo Anne's 19:12
It is a private image, Erontquay.
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 19:19
But I,m Copying the http//www etc in the box at the top. Not to worry I,ll get the hang of it sooner or later
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 19:29
You'll get there.
Oh, and please don't worry about buggering about and spoiling my nice new thread.
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 19:35
Dont get Cocky, there back on thread
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 19:45
I should think so too.
'Twaddle' didn't get any whines or whinges (surprisingly) and I hope we attract none on here.
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 19:50
Will it mature with age?
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 22:11
That could just be Gwim's socks, Jo Anne. You should see what he puts on the radiators.
'Mature'
Never in a month of Sundays.
Replied: 21st Sep 2011 at 22:14
Last edited by dustaf: 21st Sep 2011 at 22:15:16
Headline in the Sun newspaper, 'The-tsunami-inspired-me-to-donate-my-sperm'.
What excuses does Dostaf have, I wonder?
Replied: 22nd Sep 2011 at 10:39
In jars?
I do hope you keep them in the little refrigerated box at the top of the fridge!
Replied: 22nd Sep 2011 at 16:52
Two Irishmen had a nightmare day visting the sperm bank in London. Paddy missed the tube and Murphy came on the bus.
Replied: 22nd Sep 2011 at 18:42
'Save the seed for fatherhood.'
This was advice given to somebody as a young boy, by Priests or suchlike. Google isn't helping. I think it may have been Tom Baker.
Similar advice to that given about sleeping with hands crossed over the chest.
Replied: 22nd Sep 2011 at 19:06
I sleep like that....Only problem is it isn't my chest....
Nor my hands.
Replied: 22nd Sep 2011 at 20:16
Replied: 22nd Sep 2011 at 20:29
Last edited by dustaf: 22nd Sep 2011 at 20:31:18
Yes, more nakky women than you could shake a stick at,
And you would know all about that.
(Blank page)
Replied: 22nd Sep 2011 at 20:31
Last edited by the_gwim_weaper: 23rd Sep 2011 at 09:17:54
That, dear boy, is Carla Bruni.
Perhaps she should be on 'Politics'?
Replied: 22nd Sep 2011 at 20:34
Ah, I was offered Google as some kind of second prize. You fixed it, I see.
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 09:22
Yes. That was automatically done by the site I nicked the image from.
There is a nakkier one of Carla, either before, or after she crossed her arms.
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 13:20
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 13:32
Shameless the pair of you!
'Nice new thread' indeed - it is just another way to peddle yet more filth
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 15:21
My pic was purely to remind him that the Law is keeping an eye on his lewdity.
His is gratuitous tompeepery.
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 15:45
They both get away with an awful lot, Veg Grower. Obviously influentials.
(Bad influences on each other, at least.)
Something refreshingly edifying.
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 17:54
Last edited by jo anne: 23rd Sep 2011 at 17:56:43
I very nearly put a link on to a Milligan clip yesterday.
I was reminded of his 'Epilogues' when I saw the 'Thought For The Day' thread.
He was a crusty old cleric sat in a chesterfield armchair and as he ended his words he would sneeze and a load of talc would fall off his head.
There is one clip on Youtube, but it contains naughtiness.
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 18:44
The Epilogue
(Have I watched it? The clue's in the title.)
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 19:32
How he came up with daft things like that (powder) amazes me.
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 19:40
He also did a naughty one about Daleks and curry.
"Put it in the curry" (Typed in Dalek accent)
I think it's on Youtube.
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 20:17
"Have you finished your homework?"
"Yes - I - have - destroyed - it."
(He can't blame it on the dog again.)
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 20:24
Last edited by jo anne: 23rd Sep 2011 at 20:26:07
They don't (daren't) make 'em like they used to.
At least the language wasn't filthy.
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 20:40
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 20:43
Last edited by jo anne: 23rd Sep 2011 at 21:00:57
Jim Bowen's sacking/resignation comes to mind.
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 21:23
The poweder thing was taken from one of Dickens stories turned into Film, the fasntastic Oliver Twist.
Mr. Grimwick I think?
Replied: 23rd Sep 2011 at 21:30
Im scratching my head trying to place Mr Grimwig.
Mr. Grimwig is so called because his seemingly "grim", pessimistic outlook is actually a protective cover for his kind, sentimental soul.
Here
Was he Brownlow's mate who reckoned the boy would probably do a runner with the books and money?
Replied: 25th Sep 2011 at 17:17
Grimwig - sounds a bit like Fezziwig from A Christmas Carol.
Replied: 25th Sep 2011 at 19:11
'Mr. Grimwig said, "Why don't you send Oliver? I'm sure he will deliver them safely." ... Mr Brownlow said he would be back in twenty minutes at the most. Mr Grimwig warned him not to expect the boy to come back.' here)
Replied: 25th Sep 2011 at 19:23
That's the fellow.
I don't know if dust fell out of his hair when he sneezed though.
Replied: 25th Sep 2011 at 19:30
I didn't recognise the name at all.
Reminds me - I have always fancied reading all of Dickens work - just never got round to it.
Replied: 25th Sep 2011 at 19:42
I wouldn't have known the name, Veg Grower. I googled.
Replied: 25th Sep 2011 at 19:49
There was a marvelous sketch in Not The Nine O Clock News (early 80's) where two gentlemen met in an inn/tavern.
Probably a parody of scene from Pickwick Papers.
Think the main players were Smith and Jones. Anyroad, it was a micky take on Dickens character titles. More and more people were introduced.
I remember one being Mr Fezzypeg and possibly a Fuzzyrug.
Then, one was asked if he was Mr Rum-tiddley-um-tum. He replied in an apologetic way that the questioner was in fact mistaking him, as he was Mr Rum-tiddley-um-tum-tum-tum.
At this point, a text appeared across the screen to the effect ot
"We apoligise for the outbreak of silly names in thes programme. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible"
Replied: 25th Sep 2011 at 20:07
I really wish I could find that sketch. Or even the script.
Replied: 25th Sep 2011 at 20:30
I've just found a box full of cricket balls.
And a bag full of grasshopper penises.
Wanna buy any....going cheep?
Replied: 27th Sep 2011 at 14:40
Replied: 27th Sep 2011 at 15:03
When you can take Malteser out of bag, without meltage.
Replied: 27th Sep 2011 at 15:48
According to the old joke, it was:
"When your eyes are like mine, Grasshopper"
Replied: 27th Sep 2011 at 18:22
HOI COOLIE!
Are you up for a small part?
That's me aking if you are of a theatrical bent. No your 'maid' reminding you it's time for work.
Replied: 28th Sep 2011 at 13:44
I shall take the bait...Amateur dramatics, perchance?
Replied: 28th Sep 2011 at 13:49
I'm thinking of writing a play.
Don't worry, there's no casting couch.
Replied: 28th Sep 2011 at 14:00
'I'm thinking of writing a play.'
To help you get started, Dustaf, I'd suggest changing of to and.
www.writeaplay.co.uk
(Too late for this year's competition, but there'a always next year's. You've got to begin it to win it.)
Replied: 28th Sep 2011 at 14:27
Will I be a dashing debonair Gentleman of the Southern States of America?
Replied: 28th Sep 2011 at 15:34
Frankly, me deer, a don't give a dam.
Now git!
Replied: 28th Sep 2011 at 16:23
Suit yourself
It could have led to bigger things.
Replied: 28th Sep 2011 at 16:35
I don't want 'bigger things' thank you very much!
Now, tell me what you have in mind for me?
Replied: 28th Sep 2011 at 16:54
I don't really have much to go on at the moment.
Work in progress.
Replied: 28th Sep 2011 at 18:25
Listen, buggerlugs...I am not 'starring' in any play that begins, 'This is a play wot I wrote, Jim, (Me) is lying naked on top of the bed after a hot shower, when in comes Tom, the boy who peeps (You) through the window'.
The rest you are imagining right now.
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 08:33
Only if you have your way with me.
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 13:19
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 13:32
My advice?...Make it real
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 16:19
Last edited by the_gwim_weaper: 29th Sep 2011 at 17:29:15
All depends on funding VG.
I'm having none of that nonsense, Gwim.
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 17:36
Give us some clues as to how your play is progressing, we can then chip in with ideas.
I stole an idea once..
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 17:39
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 17:47
you could always resort to plagiarism
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 18:00
NEVER!
I try my best not to C&P jokes. Or at least I used to.
Then I thought, 'sod it', everybody else does.
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 18:04
Right, set the play in Bavaria, during the Oktoberfest, where much mirth and merriment will ensue.
I will ask my friend if she will join in with us, maybe even get on stage?
Replied: 29th Sep 2011 at 20:00
Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.
She looks nice and clean. Couple of questions, if you don't mind.
1. Can I try her hat on?
2. Does she come with the Ooompah band?
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 14:10
Haff you heard der german band?............
NEXT
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 14:56
I've got that German Officer from Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines, in me yed now.
He made band noises, similar to the bloke who did the theme tune to Blott On The Landscape.
Google time.
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 15:35
Blott
In't google great?
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 15:40
Gert Fröbe
Three cheers for google.
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 15:42
"2. Does she come with the Ooompah band?"
I don't think she's that kind of girl.
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 15:53
Answers on a postcard
"I see the Vicar's in!"
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 16:38
MUM, I can see the moon from here
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 18:43
What news your play old chap?...I have had a sudden wheeze, I shall play the king to the Wicked Queen
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 20:19
I was working on a serious piece. then you started with the nakky pictures. Thinkg about pieces has now taken a turn for the worse. Not sure if it's writer's cramp or writer's block.
Ah that reminds me.
Merchants.
Vienna's Merchants.
A tale of mystery and intrigue. The protagonist and antagonist being a Vintner and a Chandler.
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 21:29
I am obviously the protagonist then...I shall iron my best breeches.
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 21:32
I'm not sure which is which, just yet.
If it does turn into a farce, the Chandler will get the most funny lines.
If a tragedy, the Vintner will get the sympathy vote from the ladies.
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 21:37
I'm a fan of this Chandler.
If it does turn into a farce, the Chandler will get the most funny lines.
Now is the Vintner of sour discontent.
Good luck with the play.
Replied: 30th Sep 2011 at 22:31
Mr Essex (Gwim fancies him) has recently been 'acting' in the Cockneysoap. He may be available to do a re-write of this song for me.
I'm struggling to get some nakky women into the story.
I wouldn't mind having some Policewomen in. But that has raised an issue or two.
If the play is set yonks ago, there is little scope for uniformed ladies. I could go for buxom Innkeepers'-daughters, but they always appear unseemly.
One solution, especially given a maritime flavour, would be female Customs Officers.
There's a thought.
Google time.
Replied: 1st Oct 2011 at 15:51
Last edited by dustaf: 1st Oct 2011 at 16:09:55
Replied: 1st Oct 2011 at 15:57
I'm struggling here.
Do they have hats, I wonder?
Replied: 1st Oct 2011 at 16:07
Last edited by dustaf: 1st Oct 2011 at 16:12:50
Border Agency lady with a dog.
There's an idea.
Replied: 1st Oct 2011 at 16:18
Well dustaf - if you put as much effort into the script as you do into your research - it should be a huge success.
Replied: 1st Oct 2011 at 18:29
The Scarecrow didn't have the brains, Tin Man didn't have the heart, and the Lion didn't have the courage.
So Dorothy remained a virgin.
Replied: 2nd Oct 2011 at 10:11
Replied: 2nd Oct 2011 at 14:12
You've no right cutting the lady off that picture, Jo Anne.
I'm not like Bunny Warren See 10:00
Apparently, Gwim is an acquaintance of the aforementioned Dorothy.
Replied: 2nd Oct 2011 at 17:41
no right cutting the lady off that picture
No snap decision, this snap division - that's two snaps now - was the right thing to do.
After all, a lead actor and leading lady are both stars in their own right.
Not just 'the one on the right'. Or 'the one on the left'.
(As ever, there are two sides to the story. And writely so.)
Playwrights have to get on the right side of their cast.
Or they may be left without a play.
Now, haven't you got a write thing to do?
(All the best with the stage directions.)
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 10:14
Last edited by jo anne: 4th Oct 2011 at 10:18:20
One or two directions frequently come to mind, Jo Anne.
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 13:50
'Way to go!' directions?
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 15:21
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 15:31
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 15:41
There's a lovely bit at the end of that clip where the protesters throw something at the BSM
But he does use a naughty B word.
Surprising really, as I think the show went out at around 7:30 pm.
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 15:48
Holy cow, Pat Man!
Is your play along the lines of a cow herd production?
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 17:31
I'm struggling at the moment.
I was going to include a Fletcher (manufacturer of projectiles ) but if it is set in modern times, that may not work.
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 17:38
There's a thought.
Will it have to be a closed shop do?
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 22:03
(I've only just made a point of looking up Fletcher.)
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 22:03
See also 'bullet maker'.
I can't find it anywhere, but it is similar to a wotsit-stirrer.
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 22:10
Too much googling in that direction could lead to a knock on the door.
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 22:15
Just aim to make a theatre bulletin.
Replied: 4th Oct 2011 at 22:25
I mean in the context of a person who makes bullets for other people to fire.
Sort of person who gets somene else to do their dirty work by stirring things.
Trying to find a written example without [i[The Spooks giving me a natty orange boilersuit.
Replied: 5th Oct 2011 at 14:17
Coolie:
See this churlish remark
Wrong date as well, Pilgrim!
Here
I'm more than certain that I do not need to explain to you how the error occurred. But I feel I owe it to some of your followers.
I had been having a bit of a dabble On this thread
This jiggery pokery involved a bit of manipulation and logging in (then out again) as t'other mon.
Hope this helps.
Replied: 13th Oct 2011 at 14:01
Replied: 13th Oct 2011 at 14:27
Two mons (14:01) don't make a wright, Dustaf.
That explanation is all work and no play.
Replied: 13th Oct 2011 at 14:34
I knew it was time for a new play the other week, when I checked a certain theread.
Replied: 13th Oct 2011 at 14:45
Well - I was thinking of popping in and dusting off the cobwebs but I see I won't have to now.
Replied: 13th Oct 2011 at 19:23
Maybe the forthcoming Guy Fawkes Night will help to thicken the 'Plot'
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 11:48
Ahhh.
There's a thought. The Chandler could provide a maroon.
"A maroon what?" You ask.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 14:06
Last edited by dustaf: 14th Oct 2011 at 15:00:01
A maroon what?
We hope to see 'read' not 'red'.
Noun 3. maroon - an exploding firework used as a warning signal
It could help highlight your flair for writing.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 14:48
I had intended to have the chandler supplying enough old rope. But, I've had a flash of inspiration.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 14:59
Last edited by dustaf: 14th Oct 2011 at 15:01:03
You need to be flashier than that. Think big!
Your play may be followed by thunderous applause.
How about 'Bang goes the neighbourhood!' for a title - could be th'understatement of the year.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 15:09
On a darker note. Did you ever watch the series GBH, Jo Anne.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G.B.H._(TV_series)
It was a belter, with some funny moments to lighten the mood. In one scene a crazy Hotelier was seen staggering drunk around the woods in a thunderstorm at night. He wore a miner's helmet complete with lamp, and explained that he did this as a sort of game of Russian roulette.
One funny moment was when the main man (Michael Murray) was having a bit of a mental breakdown on a roadside verge. a coachload of holidaymakers/tourists stopped alongside and one hapless chap approached Murray.
He didn't ask if he was OK or anything, he just said "I know you, you're him offf the telly. Don't tell me" (pause)
"Dirty Den! That's you. Hello Dirty Den"
Murray, lying on the floor, said that he was indeed 'Dirty Den' and was in scene being filmed from a camera on top of a distant building and asked the chap to go away as he was spoiling the shot.
The chap's Burrrrrnley-type accent really added to the comedy. "Dirrrrrrrty Den"
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 15:25
Man on coach may have been Elgin Sparrowhawk
Google time.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 15:31
David Ross (Elgin) was in GBH, but looking at that page, he must have had more of a role than just that one bit-part scene.
Anyroad the chap on the coach was as gormless as Elgin.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 15:40
I didn't see GBH, but I did see Robert Lindsay on BBC Breakfast this morning. Such a tragedy that the comedy series, My Family, has finished.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 15:48
Re being flashier, Dustaf ...
I thought it would make for a divine special effect. But you know what Thor did.
Would it hammer the budget?
"Thaw with his gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer."
I'd have thought Thaw put the war in warm, it's hardly nice to ice.
(Having read your explanation on General, I'm glad you wear smalls whilst bathing, but toilet humour seems a bit displaced in the bath.)
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 17:12
Gerroff.
I won't do the "I'm Thor!" joke.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 17:37
I won't do the "I'm Thor!" joke.
That deserves a big clap.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 18:04
It's very good of you not to tell it then, Dustaf.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 18:09
And good of you not to have googled it.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 18:11
I haven't. I only like good jokes.
Replied: 14th Oct 2011 at 18:26
Have you thought of employing the services of a Ghost Writer?
I know thats usually books - but similar thing
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 19:44
I nearly cited Rooney as an example.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 19:48
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 19:49
I know - it bugs me that 'erm' - every other bloomin word - poor lad.
Actually - I think that is a contradiction in terms.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 19:51
Gwim's mate has also offered to help.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 19:53
Last edited by dustaf: 15th Oct 2011 at 19:53:55
is that the rear of moodysues lavatory door
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 19:57
No. You're thinking about the warning about limbo dancers.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 20:17
If they're stuck in limbo ... might they be caught short?
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 20:20
Last edited by jo anne: 15th Oct 2011 at 20:29:48
From appalled to applaud - what a quick turnabout!
Hope your audiences aren't so difficult, Dustaf.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:08
Last edited by jo anne: 16th Oct 2011 at 10:08:49
He,s away at the moment watching An Audience with Alan Davies
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:20
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:24
Big Brother?
Alan once successfully bid £3,000 for the diary room chair that featured in the original Big Brother series.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:27
I like him sometimes.
As the title says, he'll excel on QI.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:31
mock the week is much better without russell howard
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:36
'sometimes'
Bit of a Curate's egg then, Jo Anne?
He's not as bad as Ross, Mache.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:38
Me neither. Spoiled an episode of Extras, he did.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:43
Spoiled an episode of Extras.....sod that, He,s ruined ITV
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:46
Piggin hell, he's not wormed his way into Emmerdale Farm, has he?
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:48
Last edited by dustaf: 20th Oct 2011 at 14:29:36
I don't think Alan's a bad egg, Dustaf.
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:48
Yes, he plays the part of a cow pat well though
Replied: 15th Oct 2011 at 21:50
That's like typing Harold Shipman had some redeeming features.
Replied: 18th Oct 2011 at 15:42
I wonder if in Victorian times, Tourette's sufferers blurted out, "Fiddlesticks, balderdash, poppycock."?
Replied: 3rd Nov 2011 at 14:25
I politely asked if I could use the joke, they said, "F f f f fill your boots, we died in the late 19th cent".
Replied: 3rd Nov 2011 at 15:21
Replied: 4th Nov 2011 at 14:20
Last edited by dustaf: 4th Nov 2011 at 14:21:18
Excerpt from an online dating thingamibob...
I also look like Shrek, call me.
Posted 2 months ago
Lets see.. I am a big and scray Russian dude. Well, mebe not that big and not that scray. I am 180lb but plan to be 250 in the near future. I love take risks and trying new things, and there are few things that I enjoy more than adrenaline in my body and facing fear and laughing at it, and having companions who are on the same page and willing to challange you. I scare people on my motorcycle when I am on the road, and some people are afraid for my life, yet I am confident in my safety and ability to protect the ones I am with, and will never abandon my enthusiasm for biking. I have a very deep voice voice, that can freak some people out if they are not used to hearing it. I never watch tv and very rarely watch movies with you, as there are many more things I’d rather do instead. I never start fights, but I enjoy agression from other men, because I love staying in control of my emotions and my body. And of course, I love sex, and again, there are very few things in life that I enjoy more than pleasing a woman I am with and seeing her delirious with pleasure, because I doubt that any woman can make me feel just as good as she feels. You will never catch me doing nothing. Put down your email and your number
N.
____________________________________________________
+5 for “I’m big and scary” as an opener (and misspelling “scary”).
+1 for “mebe.” Really?
+4 for “I plan on gaining 70 pounds in the near future.” What lady doesn’t want a man who lives off of bacon and steroids?
+2 for “I enjoy aggression from other men… and of course I love sex.” I think there’s something you’re not telling me.
+3 for the Emphasis on Manliness: motorcycles, deep voice, No Fear t-shirt (he didn’t mention that but you know he has a bunch).
TOTAL POINTS: 15.
(Pssst, there are others...Maybe you submitted one?)
Replied: 7th Nov 2011 at 15:43
gwim:
Is it an entry from one of them 'Dykes on Bikes' lasses?
Replied: 7th Nov 2011 at 16:01
Could be..Dustaf likes his 'partners' to be on the dominant side of matters.
Replied: 7th Nov 2011 at 16:14
Takes all sorts etc..
That's what you put on your form.
Replied: 7th Nov 2011 at 20:45
Replied: 7th Nov 2011 at 21:29
Replied: 23rd Nov 2011 at 18:38
Last edited by dostaf: 1st Jan 2012 at 17:50:33
I used to do things like this, until I took an arrow to the knee.
Replied: 9th Dec 2011 at 11:59
Useless trivia number #475
As a generally accepted explanation, the suffix "stan" is an ancient Persian and/or Farsi word meaning country, nation, land, or place of, so, the country name of Afghanistan would then mean "homeland" of the Afghans, or place of the Afghans.
Replied: 14th Dec 2011 at 16:30
He checks his balloon knot.
Tickled me that.
Learned a new word.
Replied: 26th Nov 2012 at 16:05
I missed the balloon knot thing....the reference to bottom holes?
Replied: 26th Nov 2012 at 16:12
True.
Reminds me of the owd joke about Percy Shaw.
Had the cat been going the other way, he'd have invented the pencil sharpner.
Replied: 26th Nov 2012 at 16:13
I can't believe it was almost 12 months since Poppycock saw the light of day.
Handbags has never been busier.
Replied: 27th Nov 2012 at 09:06
Interlopers and competitors, well, I'm not.
Replied: 27th Nov 2012 at 15:12
Last edited by Mac: 27th Nov 2012 at 15:13:35
Just like one of them stiinking bloom doings, which flower once a blue moon and are redolent of rotting flesh.
Replied: 27th Nov 2012 at 16:38
Phallic flowers as well. I hope the word phallic isn't too strong for the admin?
Replied: 27th Nov 2012 at 16:39
Stinkhorn came to mind as I typed. But them's toadstool type thingies.
Can we say/type 'thingies' in these turbulent times?
Replied: 27th Nov 2012 at 16:42
Probably not....Let's but video's of Children being butchered on instead, that seems to be ok.
Replied: 27th Nov 2012 at 16:44