Secret millionaire

there could be one on here looking for deserving causes for his/her cash.
What's WW's best sob story then

ERIN

Good un Douglas Money on way

My Mum Was a Beautiful woman when she was younger. Her Step-Mother hated her; she used to make my Mum do all the chores in the house. Bullying her all the while because my Mum was prettier.. One day My Step-gran tried to kill my Mum, who ran away. She ended up working helping a group of vertically challenged men and never returned home. Years later, My Step-gran found out where my Mum was, and sent her some food as a peace offering, sadly, the food was laced with poison, which made the body go into a comatose state. Poor mum was in a coma for a long time until my Father, a Doctor in the Hospital where she was ‘sleeping’ saw my Mum and thought she was so beautiful, he had to kiss her. Miraculously, just after he kissed her, my Mum woke up, saw my Dad and instantly fell in love, they are now happily married. The Vertically challenged men need money for new shoes, so if any millionaires would like to send me some money,. I will kit them out in specially made brogues.
Thank you for reading my tale of woe

That must be worth a quid or two gwim

where do you get your inspiration from gw?

Mum told me, I was filling up, I can tell you!

send gwim a cheque now

FOR LOTS OF MONEY!....shoes are expensive for half a dozen (or so) small chaps

hi ho hi ho i bet......

gwim is definitely a deserving cause but I should get a slice too.
Driving home the other day I saw this runaway steam roller heading towards a little old lady limping across the road with her four dogs in tow.
Realising decisive action was needed I steered my little Fiesta into the path of the steam roller.
Just before impact I leapt out, scooped up the old lady and by some miracle all four dogs and managed to get them to safety.
My car was a wreck, I broke both legs, but hell,I'm no hero. Just send me the money.

Good Heavens man...I shall have her Maj call round with a gong for you on the morrow!

Have got no money i-spy but I work in a mobility shop and we've got some second hand scooters in. Not expensive either. Delivery can be arranged as you have two broken legs and can't get to the shop.

You are very kind kitekat.

I can deliver. for a small fee

My moat is contaminated with shredded paper.

And if I want a decent poo, I have to go to Paul's

amdostaf av i lost the plot?? ohhhh the advert

Secret Millionaire - loada tosh and a waste of money.

Is Paul into such 'games' Dostaf?

Izal

Isn't that a kajagogoo song...

"izal" blinkin' 'ard toilet paper that we had to purrup wi' as kids!

like wiping your bum with greasproof paper, wasn't it?

Too shy-ni shy I think it was called

we use to have newspaper torn into little squares and threaded through with string.

'threaded through with string'....OUCH!

gw: we tore the paper off before we used it

Speaking of which, my little duck-house has been scuttled.

what would you have done?

I would have told them they had made a mistake immediately.

i work for a charity that is heavily requested to be used by service users and referers,and makes a difference to many people. but we are running out of cash. we would love a secret millionaire to come and visit us!!