General   (General discussion, talk about anything.)

I called for some diesel this morning and I put £20 in at the pump.
When I went to pay, the cashier said, "that's £160 please, Sir".
"What?", says me, "I've only put £20 in and £20 is all your getting"!
"But, Sir, we now charge you for your estimated next months worth of diesel, you pay for it in advance, so you're always in credit and you can take your diesel in winter, when you can't buy yourself any 'cos you've run out of money"!

"^*&*&* %^^ *, you Pa^*i Bas*£^d"! says me.