Why women outlive men -the facts

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries until now.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy backside and find something better.

If you mention how nice she looks ... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet ....... it's male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't ....... you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her ....... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy .... that's domination..
If she asks you ... it's a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert.
If you don't .... you're gay.

If you try to keep yourself in shape ....... you're vain.
If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers ... you're after something.
If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements .... you're full of yourself.
If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired.
If you have a headache ....... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often.... you're oversexed..
If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to.

I hear diesels.

All true!

but will the ladies of WW agree

Only once they have finished tidying up after cooking teas, and cleaning the place.

mac You'd be better to keep a low profile. You're in enough trouble as it is.

I'd like to know why there's one from Mature dating UK standing near my door.Its a bit scary.

Get a friendlier door!

does MarieM get a prize for quickest cleaner up

She certainly does...She gets to make cups of tea all round.

I wondered why this place was called handbags. I can see all you men carry one. Bitches

HAHAHA!....

Can she say/type that on here in these turbulent times?

No, I have asked darren to send the heaviski's round.

Exactly, we don't want that sort of talk post jackbit when the brandy and cigars are being pased around, and pleasant conversation is the order of the day.

Not that I socialise with money men.

More like lack of Money men!

Aye, and them dog ends are abugger to light at times.

Specially when they have just eaten.

Ay thang yow.

*Curtsies*

I was reading about flounces t'other day.

Just days after seeing a mention on here.

Lot of it about.

Victorian dresses.

Ah....Them ones

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

On yer bike the lot off ya!!!!!
Ya know that ya can't live without us!!!!

No, I have asked darren to send the heaviski's round.

Tell him to send as many Ruskies as he wants. I'm a fan of Farley's.

An song funny

I really liked the song, Mac. Two canny lasses.

It amused me, even though they should have been in the kitchen at that time of day!


An catalogue
They deserve to be famous.

They're very talented.

I-spy, the man of your initial post ought to thank the woman he refers to.

Aware his life might be shorter, she obviously took a lot of trouble to make it seem longer.

THE WOMAN POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart, and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh, send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.



THE MAN POEM:


I pray for a nymphomaniac with
big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a monkeys.

If women are so good at multi tasking, why can't they have an headache and make love at the same time?.[:l