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Why women outlive men -the facts

Started by: i-spy (15002) 

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries until now.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy backside and find something better.

If you mention how nice she looks ... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet ....... it's male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't ....... you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her ....... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy .... that's domination..
If she asks you ... it's a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert.
If you don't .... you're gay.

If you try to keep yourself in shape ....... you're vain.
If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers ... you're after something.
If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements .... you're full of yourself.
If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired.
If you have a headache ....... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often.... you're oversexed..
If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to.




Started: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:10

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)



I hear diesels.

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:13

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

All true!

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:15

Posted by: i-spy (15002) 

but will the ladies of WW agree

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:24

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Only once they have finished tidying up after cooking teas, and cleaning the place.

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:25

Posted by: MarieM (5563)

mac You'd be better to keep a low profile. You're in enough trouble as it is.

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:30

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:31

Posted by: i-spy (15002) 

I'd like to know why there's one from Mature dating UK standing near my door.Its a bit scary.

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:31

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Get a friendlier door!

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:33

Posted by: i-spy (15002) 

does MarieM get a prize for quickest cleaner up

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:34

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

She certainly does...She gets to make cups of tea all round.

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 21:38

Posted by: jathbee (10820)

I wondered why this place was called handbags. I can see all you men carry one. Bitches

Replied: 17th Dec 2012 at 23:00

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

HAHAHA!....

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 18:15

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)



Can she say/type that on here in these turbulent times?

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 18:30

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

No, I have asked darren to send the heaviski's round.

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 18:35

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Exactly, we don't want that sort of talk post jackbit when the brandy and cigars are being pased around, and pleasant conversation is the order of the day.

Not that I socialise with money men.

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 18:44

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

More like lack of Money men!

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 19:04

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Aye, and them dog ends are abugger to light at times.

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 19:04

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Specially when they have just eaten.

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 19:51

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Ay thang yow.

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 19:56

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

*Curtsies*

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 19:59

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

I was reading about flounces t'other day.

Just days after seeing a mention on here.

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 20:07

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Lot of it about.

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 20:07

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

Victorian dresses.

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 20:11

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Ah....Them ones

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 20:20

Posted by: lizziedownunder (7069) 

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

On yer bike the lot off ya!!!!!
Ya know that ya can't live without us!!!!

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 22:50

Posted by: jathbee (10820)



No, I have asked darren to send the heaviski's round.

Tell him to send as many Ruskies as he wants. I'm a fan of Farley's.

Replied: 18th Dec 2012 at 23:14

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Replied: 19th Dec 2012 at 07:58

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

Replied: 19th Dec 2012 at 08:33

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

An song funny

Replied: 19th Dec 2012 at 09:09

Posted by: jo anne (33512) 

I really liked the song, Mac. Two canny lasses.

Replied: 19th Dec 2012 at 09:18

Posted by: Mac (inactive)

It amused me, even though they should have been in the kitchen at that time of day!


An catalogue
They deserve to be famous.

Replied: 19th Dec 2012 at 09:41
Last edited by Mac: 19th Dec 2012 at 09:43:34

Posted by: jo anne (33512) 

They're very talented.

I-spy, the man of your initial post ought to thank the woman he refers to.

Aware his life might be shorter, she obviously took a lot of trouble to make it seem longer.

Replied: 19th Dec 2012 at 16:19

Posted by: i-spy (15002) 

THE WOMAN POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart, and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh, send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.



THE MAN POEM:


I pray for a nymphomaniac with
big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a monkeys.


Replied: 19th Dec 2012 at 19:05

Posted by: scoop (3285) 



If women are so good at multi tasking, why can't they have an headache and make love at the same time?.[:l

Replied: 19th Dec 2012 at 22:50

 

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