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You've got to laugh

Started by: i-spy (14979) 

Just been reading some observations on life from famous and not so famous folk.
These made me chuckle..
I had a rose named after me and was very flattered. But I wasn't very pleased to read the description in the catalogue. It said no good in bed but fine against a wall (Eleanor Roosevelt).

When I look at my children I say to myself Lilian you should have stayed a virgin (Lillian Carter, mother of Jimmy)

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Mark Twain).

Anybody got any more???

Started: 9th Feb 2009 at 21:56

Posted by: dostaf (inactive)

We are a grandmother. Margaret Thatcher.

Not quite the same but daft.

Replied: 9th Feb 2009 at 21:58

Posted by: franny (inactive)

Stan Laurel on his deathbed said, "I would rather be skiing than doing this." A nurse at the side of him said, "I never knew you could ski Mr Laurel" and Stan Laurel replied, "I cant. But I would still rather be skiing than doing this!" Genius!!!

Replied: 9th Feb 2009 at 22:01

Posted by: odins_child (inactive)

"I told you I was Ill" or similar words to that effect

Replied: 9th Feb 2009 at 22:08

Posted by: jathbee (10724)

"I told you I was Ill" or similar words to that effect

Spike Milligan. A classic. On his headstone.

Replied: 9th Feb 2009 at 22:14

Posted by: aspuller (1835) 

Another Milligan one...I dont mind dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens !

Replied: 9th Feb 2009 at 22:21

Posted by: jathbee (10724)

Replied: 9th Feb 2009 at 22:38

Posted by: bennielechat (5762)

Woody Allen

"i don't want to achieve immortality through my movies I want to do it by not dying"

Replied: 9th Feb 2009 at 23:15

Posted by: sonlyme (2786)

Another Milligan one.
I want burying in a tree as i've always wanted people to look up to me.

Replied: 10th Feb 2009 at 08:44

Posted by: jeremyb (616)

Jeremy Thorpe

I have not met Norman Scott face to face for years

Unknown

Everybody talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it

Groucho Marx

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

Spike Milligan
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Replied: 10th Feb 2009 at 19:36

Posted by: ststephens97 (inactive)

During the D Day landings in WW2 my Grandad was the first soldier off the boat

At Dover!

Replied: 10th Feb 2009 at 21:40

Posted by: i-spy (14979) 

Like the Jeremy Thorpe quote - hope he's not a relative Jeremy.

Couple more..

I've stopped drinking but only while I'm asleep (George Best)

There's only one cure for grey hair. A Frenchman invented it. It's called the guillotine (PG Wodehouse)

Replied: 10th Feb 2009 at 23:37

Posted by: custard (6941) 

don,t know any but you made me laugh!

Replied: 11th Feb 2009 at 00:02

Posted by: vera howarth (2584) 

Nancy Astor to Winston Churchill in the house of commons-
"you are drunk"
Winston churchill's reply
"madam you are ugly but I'll be sober in the morning"
sorry if the wording is not eact but is as near as can remember

Replied: 11th Feb 2009 at 13:14

Posted by: gnomy goes traveling (373) 

i spy, ta, i love reading stuff like this, gives me a good chukkle

Replied: 11th Feb 2009 at 19:02

Posted by: xrh59 (inactive)

"Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

Replied: 12th Feb 2009 at 14:27

Posted by: i-spy (14979) 

It's back by popular demand.
Well one person asked about it.

Replied: 18th Dec 2020 at 12:00

Posted by: jo anne (33386) 



I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself. (Oscar Wilde)

Replied: 18th Dec 2020 at 13:08

Posted by: riocaroni (78)

Woody Allan in a film was asked, Have you ever made love to a lady replied No but I practice a lot on my own.

Replied: 19th Dec 2020 at 00:03

Posted by: peebee (531) 

On his death bed WC Fields was thumbing through the bible, his nurse asked if he was religious to which he replied................"No my dear just looking for a loophole".!

Replied: 19th Dec 2020 at 16:07

 

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