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The Phone Book ....

Started by: tonker (21576) 

I asked my daughter to give me the phone book.
She laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me her iphone.

Anyway, the spider is dead. But her iphone is broken and she is furious!

Started: 28th Jun 2020 at 13:45

Posted by: firefox (1677)


Replied: 28th Jun 2020 at 13:46

Posted by: firefox (1677)

I once dumped a cross eyed girl.

Thought she was seeing someone else.

Replied: 28th Jun 2020 at 13:47

Posted by: TerryW (4278)

So Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase then he went 'T’PAU!' I said ‘Don’t you mean KAPOW?? He said No, I’ve got china in my hand.

Replied: 28th Jun 2020 at 20:19

Posted by: TerryW (4278)

One of the grandkids left a piece of plasticine on my chair. I didn't know what to make of it.

Replied: 28th Jun 2020 at 20:24

Posted by: tomplum (6259) 

I was crossing the park, there was a spinning object in the sky, as it got nearer it got larger, I wondered what it was, then it hit me

Replied: 28th Jun 2020 at 20:35

Posted by: Tommy Two Stroke (4879)

Those are gud uns

Replied: 28th Jun 2020 at 20:57

Posted by: tomplum (6259) 

in the western films, what car get mentioned the most ?,,,,,,


Audi

Replied: 28th Jun 2020 at 21:16

Posted by: firefox (1677)


A man walked into a tattoo shop.

"Good afternoon sir, what can we do for you?"

"Well, I'm really passionate about my home town, and want something done on my knuckles, you know?"

"No problem sir, what did you want exactly?"

L-E-I-G-H. C_E on this hand, and N-T-U-R-I-O-N on this one."

Replied: 29th Jun 2020 at 11:16

Posted by: kenee (2077)



I heard the Leyth police let somebody go.

Replied: 29th Jun 2020 at 18:21

Posted by: firefox (1677)

Replied: 29th Jun 2020 at 18:54

Posted by: tonker (21576) 

A Wigan man walked into a tattoo shop.

"Good afternoon sir, what can we do for you?"

"Well, I'm really passionate about council, and want something done on my penis, you know?"

"No problem sir, what did you want exactly?"

"WELCOME TO THE METROPOLITAN BOROUGH OF WIGAN. HAVE A NICE DAY"

Replied: 29th Jun 2020 at 19:00

Posted by: chatty (7575) 



Matt Black




Colonel White

A white colonel

Replied: 29th Jun 2020 at 19:20

Posted by: firefox (1677)

Last night, after accidentally eating a fly, in the vein of the nursery rhyme,

I ate a spider, a bird, a cat, a dog, a goat, a cow and a horse.

Or, as it's more commonly known, a kebab

Replied: 29th Jun 2020 at 19:27

Posted by: chatty (7575) 

Captain Scarlet


A scarlet captain

Replied: 29th Jun 2020 at 19:36
Last edited by chatty: 29th Jun 2020 at 19:37:13

Posted by: tonker (21576) 

Spectrum is Green!

Replied: 29th Jun 2020 at 22:49

Posted by: chatty (7575) 

Spectrum is Green!

Get out of my taxi and walk (or words to that effect)

Replied: 30th Jun 2020 at 08:58

Posted by: TerryW (4278)

Did you know that the face and voice of Captain Scarlet were both based on Cary Grant. In fact, Captain Scarlet's voice artist, Francis Matthews was chosen to voice the character based on the fact he could do a Cary Grant impression, and Four out of the five angels appearances are based on real actresses.
Destiny Angel was based in appearance on actress Ursula Andress.
Melody Angel is thought to have been based in appearance on singer and actress Eartha Kitt.
Rhapsody Angel was based in appearance on model Jean Shrimpton.
Harmony Angel was based in appearance on actress Tsai Chin, most prolific in Hammer's Fu Manchu films.
Whilst the 5th Angel, Symphony, is rumored to look like the actress who voiced her, Janna Hill.

S.I.G.

Replied: 30th Jun 2020 at 09:04

Posted by: chatty (7575) 

I didn't but I knew Top Cat (renamed Boss Cat over here because Top Cat was a well known cat food) was based on The Phil Silvers show, Sergeant Bilko being the influence for Top Cat, Benny the Ball being voiced by the chap who played Private Duane Doberman in Bilko etc.

Replied: 30th Jun 2020 at 09:19

Posted by: TerryW (4278)

I did know about the Captain Scarlet but had to look it up to make sure. Wasn't a fan of Top Cat, loved Deputy Dawg , Huckleberry Hound and the main man Popeye.

Replied: 30th Jun 2020 at 09:27

 

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