Wigan Album

As Crocodile Dundee would have said
"Thems not ladders. THESE are ladders!

Yes I suspect quite boring!!!

Those are ladders. Is the correct wording.

Alan
Do you know the function of speech marks?

Well well well, if it isn't Howard and Alan again, the dynamic duo, or the gruesome twosome, as I've heard them alternatively described, what can I say ?, I'm inclined to think, that instead of spouting rubbish on here, your time could be spent far more profitably helping your great uncle Bulgaria and the rest of the family picking the stuff up on Wimbledon common.

I can't imagine that a passing artist would have regarded this scene as being 'a bit of a bore' Ozy.
The shadows, builder's rubble, and stacked clay chimney pots, would have been an almost instant attraction for him, or her, despite the artist being faced with the rum prospect of grappling with 'terra cotta colour'.
I must admit, though, that just two judiciously placed workmen having their baggin beneath the canopy, would have created even more interest for the artist. A gradely photo nonetheless.
It's hard to imagine that after 40,000 years of colour-mixing no one, as far as I am aware, has produced a definitive terra cotta colour in tube form - modulation left to the artist's discretion.

It's amazing how the terrible twosome are always attracted to Ozy's photos! I can't think why...seeing as "they are boring"!

"This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put".

Sir Winston Churchill.

Poet, I'm useless at English. Can you tell me why we spell phonetics with a ph? Should it not be fonetics?

I think we must blame 'them' Normans DTease. 1066 and all that!

Or should that be the phrench?

I phind that phunny, poet.

What does Filip think?

I'm not phully inphormed oph the phacts but I'm phairly conphident filip will agree it was the phrench inphluence.

Phil my rhyme with muffled words
Supply has soon dried up
Wordy chums they come down hard
Standing phut by phut ... Ouch!

Phlippin' eck!

Our Poet lad at fair rows built, is hampered by the dust
Then blows his nose to see the way, and soon not really phussed
The ladder long it holds his gaze, he shrugs-off first time freeze
He's sure to reach the top, let's see how pharisees
Poet's burgee's soon on high, he's back with Fritz allein
It takes a while to calm his nerves, even more to philistine.

Bravo chief poet. Bravo.

As Mick Dundee would have said,
"Phair dinkum you phella's".

Phantastic fonetics!

I phancy that's about all pholks, as it phavvers the phearless phive have phinally phinished phaphing around.

I wasn’t we em your worship sir. I was only carrying spuds and
a climber jump on, I knew nowt about any others as I weren’t we em...
Evidence suggests you are strongly connected to the five , and you are
indeed the sixth man , known as Ozy
Not me your worship sir, I’m a Godly man . I were not wee em . The only
GW I knew had a rent shop close to the shed. I did know a DTease but he got locked up, is he out is he? There was a Veronica , but she held a good
bar in Scholes. The only wrong she did was the music she played. She was I admit , close to dodgy Harry, who, it was known, was a seasoned , but apart from that I don’t know em , wasn’t me your worship .
So , what you are saying is , you are not only not the sixth man , you are an only man who knows nothing whatsoever of the other five. Is this a correct assumption? Yes your worship sir, I don’t mix with bad uns !

We turn now to the contents of your lorry , carrying five individuals ,and a vast quantity of bags labelled...Veronica spuds!
Yes,
Your Honour , May I request further confirmation from my client?
If you must .

Wasn't me your honour. I was laid up at home wif a phractured phunny bone. I blame Ozy and his phabulous foto's. He's the Ronnie Biggs of Wiganworld.

I never had a pub in Scholes - but I did once have a chippy! I had nothing to do with 'them' philanderin' scoundrels!

Seen on The Howphen Potato Seed Data Base, recently.
Veronica: Of oirish stock, strong resistance to Black Dot and Charcoal Rot.
Good with Admiral's Pie, but queue jumpers will need to fight off thora for its phritters.

Thats right Philip keep the Blight(ers) off my praties!

Veronica, who is this Dodgy Harry? and what did you season him with? My head's hurting now.

I certainly will fend them off, Veronica. Oh, by the way, the eponymous seed is a Main crop variety.

I wish I knew who dodgy Harry was I only knew a Dirty Harry - he used to supply the salt and vinegar for the chips!

Wewees Wodewick!