Malaprops

I like malaprops, especially when they arise spontaneously. I think they can almost become part of the language in their own right.

Even a couple of examples on here.

Tandem - Tangent

Mollycoddled - Mummycuddled

Wrong words but near as damn it do the job.

Often hear people saying pacific/pacifically when they mean specific/specifically.

Muriel being the most famous.
Queer old Dean being a spoonerism.

Muriel.

I forgot that. The other Hylada with the ducks.

Hylada ?

Foreign car's now is it?

Typo's don't count.

Gerroff!

Stolen ones:

"Your ambition - is that right - is to abseil across the English channel?"
Cilla Black

"It is beyond my apprehension."
Danny Ozark, baseball team manager

"Listen to the blabbing brook."
Norm Crosby

"This is unparalyzed in the state's history."
Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House

"She's really tough; she's remorseful."
David Moorcroft

"And then he [Mike Tyson] will have only channel vision."
Frank Bruno, boxer

"Cardial - as in cardial arrest."
Eve Pollard

"Marie Scott... has really plummeted to the top."
Alan Weeks

"He's going up and down like a metronome."
Ron Pickering

"He's on 90... 10 away from that mythical figure."
Trevor Bailey, cricket commentator

"Unless somebody can pull a miracle out of the fire, Somerset are cruising into the semi-final."
Fred Trueman

"We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile."
George W. Bush

"The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder."
Richard Daley, former Chicago mayor

"He was a man of great statue."
Thomas Menino, Boston mayor

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
Dan Quayle, Vice President

"Well, that was a cliff-dweller."
Wes Westrum, about a close baseball game

"If Gower had stopped that [cricket ball] he would have decapitated his hand."
Farokh Engineer

"We seem to have unleased a hornet's nest."
Valerie Singleton

"This series has been swings and pendulums all the way through."
Trevor Bailey, cricket commentator

"Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
Mike Smith, ordering a salad at a restaurant

"It's got lots of installation."
Mike Smith, describing his new coat

Edumacation time.
Word History: "She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of the Nile" and "He is the very pineapple of politeness" are two of the absurd pronouncements from Mrs. Malaprop that explain why her name became synonymous with ludicrous misuse of language. A character in Richard Brinsley Sheridan's play The Rivals (1775), Mrs. Malaprop consistently uses language malapropos, that is, inappropriately. The word malapropos comes from the French phrase mal à propos, made up of mal, "badly," à, "to," and propos, "purpose, subject," and means "inappropriate." The Rivals was a popular play, and Mrs. Malaprop became enshrined in a common noun, first in the form malaprop and later in malapropism, which is first recorded in 1849. Perhaps that is what Mrs. Malaprop feared when she said, "If I reprehend any thing in this world, it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs!"

"If I reprehend any thing in this world, it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs!"

Some amusing ones amongst your selection there.

As I mentioned, some are hilariously wide of the mark, but some almost do the job.

the batsman's holding the bowlers willie

"You could have knocked me over with a fender" Jane Ace
"He's on 90... 10 away from that mythical figure." Trevor Bailey, cricket commentator
"This series has been swings and pendulums all the way through." Trevor Bailey, cricket commentator
"We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile." George W. Bush
"The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder." Richard Daley, former Chicago mayor
"I resemble that remark!" Stan Curly Howard. Comedian
"We heard the sea is infatuated with sharks" Stan Laurel, Comedian
"This is unparalyzed in the state's history." Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House
"He was a man of great statue." Thomas Menino, Boston mayor
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." Dan Quayle, Vice President
"He's going up and down like a metronome." Ron Pickering
"Cardial - as in cardial arrest." Eve Pollard
"Unless somebody can pull a miracle out of the fire, Somerset are cruising into the semi-final." Fred Trueman
"I might just fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?" Mike Tyson, Boxer
"Marie Scott... has really plummeted to the top." Alan Weeks
"Well, that was a cliff-dweller." Wes Westrum, about a close baseball game
Put your monkey where your mouth is.
There's more than one way to spin a rat.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the tush.
Don't shoot until you see the white of their rice.

The bigger they are, they're hardly tall.

If at first you don't suck, see, why try again?

"I might just fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?" Mike Tyson, Boxer



Bush is a whole other chapter.

'Of the nine red cards this season we probably deserved half of them.'
- Arsene Wenger

Muriel & ducks

That's Mrs. Ogden, Her friends called her Hilda.
I feel she would have liked you, you can call her Mrs. Ogden.

For all you know, I could have met her.

was she ready rubbed

You have been out with her.
She said, 'Call me Mrs. Ogden, chuck'.
You said, 'But my name isn't chuck'
She laughed, then hit you in the face.

Typing of Hildas:

"We are a Grandmother"

you may of ruined your own thread after that

Ready rubbed.

Notreet!

At least I refrained rom mentioning St Bruno on your 'Saint' thread.

I was sorely tempted to.

careful, St lobby's about

Lobby - Lobbies.

Another one for the Christmas annual

St lobby saved the dragon, did you know

Myth.

Up to very recently they were still eating missonaries.

Leythers?

another myth,......they still do

thick and fast tonight

I told my son today I was a minefield of information...
I blamed this thread

No wonder...etc..

John Prescott announced that he was glad to be back on terracotta!

Oops

Awwwwww bless him

Didn't want to ruin a thread.

Just yet.

Click, snap

Not like the Norley thread drudgey attempted to ruin, eh.



Posted by: sledge (2939)
...and here we go again

Some people are just not happy unless they are name calling, having a go at someone or just generaly causing upset....and it always seems to be the same ones

Tsk tsk tsk


Replied: 4th Mar 2013 at 19:32



Posted by: sledge (2939)

(Comment removed because it broke the rules)


Replied: 5th Mar 2013 at 06:34

Mick Dorset has just used the word 'conflab' on another thread, I have always found 'conflab' an amusing word, so does the Urban Dictionary:

Conflab


...probably should have been on 'Word A Day'

Conflab is not a malaprop.

THREAD RUINER!

Malaprop reminds me of Mopatop - as in Mopatop's Shop.

Sorry.

Gerroff.

Thinking about putting a trolling and stalking thread on 'Hobbies'.

That would come under occupation

"Conflab is not a malaprop."

Tis so

I'm sorely tempted.

Go on

Kryten, I blame VG. and the Urban Dictionary.


Behave, Mache.

There's a few of them on here

Thankyou Kryten.

Edit: (e) not (o)

No, not at all you cheeky sod.

I have great respect for the new sections.

They seem to be doing fine. Though I have noticed what appears to be a bit of trolling on one thread very recently.

I could of course, be wrong

You wrong, heaven forbid

Can't really complain.

Did provide inspiration.

see that chicken, that would be walsh if it were yellow.

Could be you, because its bald
HAHAHA

Glad I resisted and put it on 'Handbags'.

I keep reading this thread but I'm not sure if I get it . . .

My aunty Marion was once watching tennis at Wimbledon on the tv and asked my uncle Johnnie to pass her a Vitas Gerilatis - think she meant a cup of tea - is this it?

Aqua vita is water, I think.

Google time.

Tennis Player

Think that's a nasty rash cream, Pam.
Dostaf has a cupboard full
(Why are there only cupboards and not other crockery item boards?)

Welsh Cross-dresser.

I like this lovely thread.


See 5th May 2013 at 20:50

Dogberryism!

I had to google it.

So the next time I’m in the kitchen making dinner and my husband tells me how ravished (famished) he is, I can hide my triumphant smile and rest assured that my self-worth remains intact… at least until the next molecular crystallography discussion..

And my previous boss was always trying to gleam (glean) information from customers (I always pictured her in a sparkly leotard, attempting to hypnotize deep, dark secrets out of our clients).

One mon on here types 'gleam' and 'gleamed'.

I used to use dampener rather than damper till another of your previous threads, Dostaf.

Me too.

I think that's why I may have raised the issue.

I'm not proud.

Damper Dampener

Pacific instead of specific.....really gets up my nose......I am forever screaming at the newsreaders on the telly.........Who's trolling???

I know what you mean Lizzie - I often scream at the telly too.

What aggravates me is the lack of basic English in the media. The BBC is deteriorating steadily, and then they try to justify these people's wages.

Bloody lazy 'babytalk' irritates me.

Rav Wilding can pronounce the l in 'helicopter', but not the one in 'builder'.

He's an 'autocutie' - they only want good looking folks now in front of the camera and it's not on. So long as they can read autocue without it looking obvious and they look a bit fit they are hired.

Hell and handcart - is that not a Malaprop?

Now, what would be the term for 'autocutie'?

I thinki it's one of those doings where two words are knocked together to produce another, in popular parlance.

I forgot the hyphen.

auto-cutie

Not necessarily.


Portmanteau

Well, thats something else I have learned on WW.

Thanks Dustaf.

Thanks also to google.

My grandmother had a 'portmanteau' - a small trunk.

Some people called her 'The Elephant Woman'.

Boooooooo!

Gerroff!

"For all you know, I could have met her." 2nd May 2012 at 16:22

Have you met her, Dostaf?

No, Jo Anne, I haven't.

I think someone once posted about seeing her regularly on a train.

Possibly Manchester-Blackpool.

You were just chauving then.

Yes.

But don't let on.

I was also tempted to put a link to this thread on the 'She Knows You Know' thread, when I saw the pic of hylda Baker.

My mum bless her after perusing the dessert menu asked for 'portfolios' when she really wanted 'profiteroles'

ray

My well travelled mother in law was always going to go on another trip to Signapore........she liked it there......

seen her on Manchester-Southport train recently

Had me thinking for a moment,Farrie.

See 19th Jun 2013 at 14:40 ^^^^

Kivers.

My cousin once asked my son will he be skiving in the afternoon, she meant skyping.