Embarrasing episodes.
Listening tto the radio this morning and the presenter was asking,what embarrasing things anyone had done and been caught doing it. To my shame I will admit to once being caught short when on holiday in Scotland and had to jump over a wall to answer the call of nature, and guess what a charrabang pulled up
Lol What have you done? come on let us know, should be fun
Started: 30th Apr 2011 at 15:35
I got thrown out of the baths for piddling in the water. 
Mind you, I was standing on a diving board at the time.
I didn't really.
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 15:52
Last edited by dustaf: 30th Apr 2011 at 16:23:44
Ah come off it, I bet you was trying to write your name when the water turns purple.
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 15:58
That's an urban myth. Purple dye, not me. 
Snopes
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 16:22
Last edited by dustaf: 30th Apr 2011 at 16:24:05
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 16:27
Didn't you have hospice trouble, mester?
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 16:29
Didn't your mac save the day?
Come on, you can share with the group.
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 16:41
I didn't have a mac in those days, mester, and my sandals weren't much help . 
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 16:53
Wet and wounded.
Sorry, mester. Shouldn't laugh. You should have given it a sugar lump. Hence the expression:
'Never get too close to a gift horse with a full bladder'
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 17:16
I know.
I didn't want to mention it, lest folk may think you were an anarchist or something.
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 17:38
Oh I thought you thought it was a gift horse. 
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 17:42
And that's how I remeber why cowies wore 10 gallon hats.
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 17:44
It's a pity it wasn't more recent.
Had it been, you could have used a mobile phone to complain.
"Where are you ringing from?"
TAXI!
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 17:51
Last edited by dustaf: 30th Apr 2011 at 17:57:05
Coincidentally, I've been googling 'Gerroff me foot', for use on here. 
Thought it as Jack Douglas. Nothing yet.
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 17:56
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 18:06
buddy qwackers the lot of ye
Replied: 30th Apr 2011 at 18:31
That must have been very embarrassing, Erontquay.
Replied: 2nd May 2011 at 17:48
Of course ja anne. How many people on a charra,embarrassed multiplied by 48 Can laugh now in fact we frequently do, but I do wish imontquay wouldnt keep wheeling this one out at parties.
Replied: 2nd May 2011 at 18:26
Just the other day, a guest on a radio programme about Queen Victoria referred to her as Victoria Vagina (he meant to say 'Regina') 
Replied: 2nd May 2011 at 18:31
Last edited by jymz4941: 2nd May 2011 at 20:45:04
When John Thaw died, 'er indoors' said 'It must be awful for his wife. He had cancer of the sarcophagus you know'.She played hell with me for laughing, saying 'Cancer is nothing to laugh about'.
Replied: 2nd May 2011 at 18:34
Last edited by jymz4941: 2nd May 2011 at 20:46:03
i once pinched a womans bottom in wigan town centre thinking it was my mum
it wern,t
glad the wife was with me!
Replied: 2nd May 2011 at 19:53
i was having a good old moan in sainsburys a couple of months ago to my hubby .or so i thaught untill i turned around and he was not there it was one of the lads filling the shelves he just laughed at me and said carry on love i am used to it from her in doors ..
Replied: 2nd May 2011 at 22:53
Perhaps not
'Stories of a one-legged man named "Bumper Harris" travelling all day on the escalator to demonstrate its safety appear to be apocryphal as no evidence of this has been found by the London Transport Museum.'
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 16:06
Surely Bumper would have been better legless.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 16:26
Careful old Skip me laddo.
Folk will think you are poking fun at those bowt legs.
God forbid you should mention Mr Spigot.
I'm presuming you are suggesting Bumper would be better if he were sozzled.
Health & Safety wouldn't like that.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 16:32
A drunken hobo bowt legs is how I envisage the fellow.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 16:37
There's equal oppportunities. Well done, you.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 16:41
Last edited by dustaf: 3rd May 2011 at 16:48:03
Mind, he could do with a P just now.
(oportunities
)
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 16:46
Pedant
I can't find a pic of Mr Spigot.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 16:50
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 17:06
Are you familiar with the man of which I speak? (Bowt googlin)
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 17:07
I can't hear you?
Any clues?
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 17:20
Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. Dudley Moore played a one legged actor, Cook was an agent.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 17:21
I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is... neither have you.
No, pray enlighten me.
(May I refer you to the picture I posted some moments earlier?)
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 17:24
Ah. In the abscence of a pic of Mr Spigot and the agent, I put that pic of Pete and Dud on.
"Pete and Dud" ?
Get me.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 17:35
Last edited by dustaf: 3rd May 2011 at 17:35:52
Last night I found Anna Magnani in my kitchen up to her knees in rice.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 17:38
Clue
2:37 But I would watch it all to get the full impact.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 17:57
Cheers.
Good job I didn't mention Derek and Clive.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 18:01
dustaf (14903)
Sorry, mester. Gizza cllue.
You seem to have slipped into the Welsh language here.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 18:08
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 18:10
He got some cream on prescription, so it's just a bit red still.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 18:14
I did look, it seemed sore to me.
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 18:28
Get it mixed up with fiery jack?
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 18:30
Sometimes, typing in an Indian accent does appear Welsh. Isn't it?
Replied: 3rd May 2011 at 18:50
Oops
Expect complaints.
Replied: 9th Nov 2012 at 19:14
I,ve just remembered another one. When I was about 16 and allowed to wear NYLONS I took the bus to town,as I stood up to get off the bus both suspenders back and front snapped open, I desperately tried to hang on to the stockings through my frock but alas to no avail,said stockings started to roll down to my ankle so I ran straight into the doorway of the "Legs of man" pub where I hitched up my frock to rearrange myself I got some strange looks I can tell you
Replied: 10th Nov 2012 at 10:00
Not even mentioned imonts balls being sucked up by a dyson
Oops I ment musket balls
Replied: 10th Nov 2012 at 10:26
I had sex with a girl in the back of a VW Beetle a few Years ago.
She gave me Herbies.
Replied: 10th Nov 2012 at 10:36
Last edited by Mac: 10th Nov 2012 at 10:36:43
I went to a vegatarian prostitute and ended up with brothel sprouts
Replied: 10th Nov 2012 at 10:39
iN mANCHESTER CROSSING MARKET ST IN THE 50'Scrossing the road WITH MY MOTHER AND MY FRENCH KNICKERS FELL DOWN MOTHER SAID KEEP ON WALKING but I said they are my best ones no ma tter says MUM a couple of mins later a Policeman tapped me on the shoulder --I believe these are yours madam a Tram nearly ran over them
Replied: 10th Nov 2012 at 16:11
Last edited by elizabeth: 10th Nov 2012 at 16:29:01
elizabeth,I had an aunt who had the same thing happen, she simply stepped out of them picked them up,put them in her bag and carried on as if nothing had happened
Replied: 10th Nov 2012 at 16:16
Its the Elastic Mache
Replied: 10th Nov 2012 at 16:30
Years ago Imont' had to go to the bank at the end of his working day, he ran up the hill to the bank with minuits to spare, the young lady cashier (rather large chested) was wearing a T shirt with some kind of logo on it,Imont was studdying the logo with head moving from left to right,breathing heavily after running, blushing she said you have just made it sir. To which Imont replied "do you realize that your banking hours are my working hours. He didn,t really it came out as something else.
Replied: 10th Nov 2012 at 16:44
Posted by: dustaf (33326) Report abuse
I stand up for a wee in the bath.
Replied: 7th Jun 2013 at 16:45
Followed by a denial.
Replied: 24th Jul 2013 at 21:45
 |
|