Handbags   (The sad, the bad and the ugly. Non-productive stuff here.)

>Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees

>a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I?

>The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket
up there
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense

>shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman
with her mouth closed
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is
wrong??

>The boy says Me ma is dead.

>Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you?

>The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the
moment.

>A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'Sorry
>about the wait.'
>I said 'Don't worry dear, you're bound to lose it eventually. '

>I came out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy
>peas & a jumbo sausage.
>A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.'
>I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'