Has anybody got

a back scratcher

Yes his name in Imontquay, hes my slave

I've got a hairy thing that needs removing

will there be a need for rubber gloves

No just a scratcher

Can't your cat help, Mache?

'I'll scratch your back, you scratch feline.' (Don't forget the safety claws )

borrowed from eront

Borrowed from someone else

Oh dear, it's big too.

I smell diesel fumes

Me too

'I've got a hairy thing that needs removing'

The lord alone knows wht that could entail down on Jollity Farm.

Maybe a strigil would be better, Mache?

As mentioned here

The hairy thing is not posting as I type, I may need it later though

Ah!

This chap sells them

An doughnut? Or an fancy toroid?

See them hedgehogs?

If you get one, and a stick.

Get thee to a lavatory!

More Roman stuff.

Know you of Patsy Rowlands? Bowt googlin.

She was Frankie Abbott's mum in 'Please Sir!'

Anyroad, I only recently remembered, she was alo another mum in a comedy series.

'Bottom'

Mrs Potato. Spud Gun's mam.

I didn't know this.

Naughty language ensued, but Julia Swallahalalalal (Wotsername) looked well good behind the bar in 'The Lamb and Flag'.

Downsside; episode featured convicted paedo, Chris Lanngham.

Kryten (Robert Lllwwyylllnnn) was also in it as a Falklands vet wit a fancy wooden leg.

Ah....I know it had it's moments, butI couldn't get into Bottom much,. Quite the opposite for you, I remember.

'Parade'

^^^^

I was only trying to educate.

I should have educated messen first.

It weren't Patsy Rowlands who played Frankie's mam.

Though she was in Please Sir!

pound shops

dime a dozen in poundland or similar.

Too late Billy the "itch" has gone

He will be back, claiming he was in the swan all the time.

not the seven year itch eront???