seek and ye shall find

On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear.
She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.

Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he figured he'd better look into it.

A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on.

He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me sir, could I help you?"

The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..."

The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"

nice one erontquay,it's said the hair of

the dog is good for you.

FiLTH, FILTH I TELLS YE!

My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.

Where have I read that before

'What a voice'

I was going to put x2 but forgot.

Am going to run into my local Tesco Express, ask the woman on the tills what year it is, when she tells me, I'm going to shout, 'IT WORKED' and run out cheering.

This woman's Snatch impressed me.

I can't type a blank expression.Small things an'all that, doesn't take a lot to impress you.

Now hush and open your Present

Look what Dostaf asked for this Christmas.

Merkin, woops sorry making his request early

He wanted a used Merkin last year, to make a shapely moustache from it.

would this suit

He ordered a more 'yellowing' version.

And the lord only knows what you googled to find that superman collectable.

I was googling what shade of yellow would suit you

EQ.

I was referring to what the wretched fellow linked to at 16:26

Is it hypoallergenic?

Two Old Ladies Were Outside Their Nursing
Home, Having A Smoke, When It Started To
Rain. One Of The Ladies Pulled Out A Condom,
Cut Off The End,Put it Over Her Cigarette,
And Continued Smoking.

Lady 1: What's That?

Lady 2: A Condom. This Way My Cigarette
Doesn't Get Wet.

Lady 1: Where Did You Get It?

Lady 2: You Can Get Them At Any chemist.

The Next Day, Lady 1 Hobbles Herself Into The
Local chemist And Announces To The
Pharmacist That She Wants A Box Of Condoms.
The Guy, Obviously Embarrassed, Looks At Her
Kind Of Strangely (She Is, After All, Over 80
Years Of Age), But Very Delicately Asks What
Brand She Prefers.

"Doesn't Matter, Son, As Long As It Fits A
Camel.

Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer?

Max Factor should make condoms.