Tat

Hows your uncle Peters bald head.
Tripe with hairs on, Pigs feet.
Little Polly Perkins, how do!
Bought a tall hat whith sleaves in.

Have you lost the plot Bentlegs?

men in white van just pulled up on front trixi.lol

Bentlegs:

You may like this, it's called, after Noam Chomsky: 'Chomsky's Gnome':

"Colourless green ideas sleep furiously"

One of the most famous phrases in psycho-linguisics

"How's your arse for blackheads"?

"How's your belly for spots"?

HOW rude!!!!

See Tonker knows what i am on about & hes a Yicker,

Hows your mother for soap?

Intrigued!

I see you also posted first three in 2007, but no answers that time round.

What a load of old rubbish.

I went to pictures tomorrow and bout a front seat at back,
then bout a plain cake with corons-in and eet-it then took it back

On a hot summer's day in mid-winter,
the snow was raining fast,
a bare-footed man with clogs on
came slowly whizzing past.
He went straight round a very sharp corner
to see a dead donkey die,
but when he took out his pistol to shoot it
it got up and kicked him in the eye!

tonker: Are you sure, didn't he take out his knife to shoot it?

Trixie, They are little bits of fun we used when we were kids, I tell them to my grandson & he repeats them at Pre-school.Along with others,



There was a little man
Who had a little gun
And over them fields he did so run
With a belly full of fat
And a big tall hat
And a pancake tied to his Bum

-------

Once upon a time
when there was no lime
And the bricksetters had no water
There came a little bird
Who did a little turd
And the bricksetters had some mortar. BumBum

Thowd chap sez cont dance?
A said who?
he sed thee
A sed me ?
he sed aye
I sed noyhw
he sed , oh.

when i was walking up the stair
i met a man who wasn't there,
he wasn't there again to-day
iwish that man would go away.

Thought you meant Tat Poole.

A variation:

Late last night and the night before
Three big pussycats knocking at my door
One had a trumpet
One had a drum,
One had a Pancake stuck to it's bum!

as the crow flies and the wind howls and the small birds twitter in the sun!!!!!

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?

Mr. Milligan

clever chappy gwim gud un

Another variation:

Twas Christmas Day in the workhouse
The rain was snowing fast
A barefoot boy with clogs on
was sitting on the grass
The organ peeled potatoes
blowing bubbles through the choir
and as the vicar preached his sermon
someone set the church on fire.
'Holy Smoke!' the verger cried, as he madly tore his hair.
'til his head resembled heaven,
there was no parting there.

Letter from lad at uni to dad

Dear dad , no mon, nofun your son,
DAD, dear son, so sad, too bad , your dad,

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their sword and shot each other


I,m sure there are other verses but cant remember them

The Elephant is a Pretty Bird,
It swings from bough to bough.
It builds it’s nest in a Rhubard Tree,
And whistles, like a cow.

Say Bazonka every day
That's what my grandma used to say
It keeps at bay the Asian Flu'
And both your elbows free from glue.
So say Bazonka every day
(That's what my grandma used to say)

Don't say it if your socks are dry!
Or when the sun is in your eye!
Never say it in the dark
(The word you see emits a spark)
Only say it in the day
(That's what my grandma used to say)

Young Tiny Tim took her advice
He said it once, he said it twice
he said it till the day he died
And even after that he tried
To say Bazonka! every day
Just like my grandma used to say.

Now folks around declare it's true
That every night at half past two
If you'll stand upon your head
And shout Bazonka! from your bed
You'll hear the word as clear as day
Just like my grandma used to say!

The inimitable Mr. Millgan©

i thaught my feet were sticking out of bed
so i got up and had a look.

Once in China there was a great man,
His name was Chickaraca chee chi pan;
His feet were big & his legs were small .
This China man couldn't walk atall..

The boy stood on the burning deck
Selling peas, penny a peck
Did he wash his nasty neck
Did he heck ...

Another Dennis,
A boy stood on the burning deck,
With his back against the mast,
He wouldn't move a bloody inch,
Till the sailors had gone past.

A woman's faults are many,

men have only two-

Everything they say

and everything they do,

Little miss Muffett
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds & corn
It wasn't the spider
that sat down beside her
It was Little Boy Blue with his h--n.


Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cupboard
to get their Mary some whiskey
but when she got there
thier Mary was bare
She had been raped & murdered by Christie.

A lady once triplets begat,

named nat,pat and tat.

though it was fun breeding,

the trouble was feeding,

because there was no tit for tat.

elmos, like it,

Theres an old Mill by the stream, Nellieeeeeeeeee Deannnnnnnnnnnnn,

I bet you a tenner i could stop gambling.

I bet thi ten to one i can beat thi at Dom-in-os,

The boy stood on the burning deck
Eating a threepeny Walls
The bloody thing went down his shirt
And fossilised his...goodnight ladies and gentlemen....
That's me banned..

She was only the colonels daughter, but she knew what regi..ment.
She was only the gravediggers daughter,cos she'd lie under any old sod...

i only play honest john bentlegs,bet i'd wipe the

with you.

Has to be 5s & 3s elmos, honest John, poo, Childs game.

av noticed folk always talk down a game when their no

good at it bentlegs.

but i did take an i.q. test and it came back negative.

elmos, well tha are an honest john,
We did play honest john with my grandmother when we were kids, she was nearly blind but she knew her dominos,

its all coming out now bentlegs,your grandmother

kept beating you at honest john.your getting as bad

as that fellow who says,"what do you call a honest

man in scholes?"--- a tourist.

elmos, is Scholes thy abode?

yes bentlegs,i live in scholes 20yds from were i was born

a long long time ago, Even now the sun is shining.

WE ALL LOVE CATS HERE,THEY TASTE JUST LIKE CHICKEN.

Our Bob says, if your Bob, does'nt give our Bob that bob that your Bob owes our Bob,our Bob will give your Bob a bob on't nose,

your bob can do what he likes,av never liked our bob.

You know,even his twin sister forgets his birthday.

RETURN TO SORRENTO (second class)


I long to return to Sorrento

On the bay where the sea meets the sky

I left my shoes and socks there

I wonder if they're dry ?

It's raining , It's poring, the old man is snoring, he went to bed to rest his head but he wont get up till the morning,

Rain Rain go away , come again on washin day,

time for the opening medicne

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl, Right in the middle of her forehead,
When she was good,
She was very very good,
But when she was bad she was a reet little toerag,

Bentlegs I enjoyed reading these good thread bought back memories there was one that started with Mary had a little lamb you remember that one?

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear,
I've often seen her little lamb
But I've never seen her bare !!

lanky11, I bet thar as happy as a gizzard in a gut truck,

Yes I remember all of these and the pat and mike jokes too Remember this one
Paddy was an Irish mam
Paddy was a thief
Paddy came to our house
and stole a leg of beef
I went to paddy's house
and paddy was in bed
I uped with mi rolling pin
and conked him on his yed

lanky, i can tell tha still a Bryner,

There was a man, a man indeed;
He sowed his garden full of seed.
When the seed began to grow,
'Twas like a garden full of snow.
When the snow began to melt,
'Twas like a ship without a belt.
When the ship began to sail,
'Twas like a bird without a tail.
When the bird began to fly,
'Twas like an eagle in the sky.
When the sky began to roar,
'Twas like a lion at my door.
When my door began to crack,
'Twas like a stick upon my back.
When my back began to bleed,
It's time for me to die indeed.
-------------------------------------------

Mary had a little lamb

Potatoes peas & gravy

Jack & Jill
Went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
Jill came down
With half a crown,
but it wasn't for carrying water,