You've got to laugh

Just been reading some observations on life from famous and not so famous folk.
These made me chuckle..
I had a rose named after me and was very flattered. But I wasn't very pleased to read the description in the catalogue. It said no good in bed but fine against a wall (Eleanor Roosevelt).

When I look at my children I say to myself Lilian you should have stayed a virgin (Lillian Carter, mother of Jimmy)

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Mark Twain).

Anybody got any more???

We are a grandmother. Margaret Thatcher.

Not quite the same but daft.

Stan Laurel on his deathbed said, "I would rather be skiing than doing this." A nurse at the side of him said, "I never knew you could ski Mr Laurel" and Stan Laurel replied, "I cant. But I would still rather be skiing than doing this!" Genius!!!

"I told you I was Ill" or similar words to that effect

"I told you I was Ill" or similar words to that effect

Spike Milligan. A classic. On his headstone.

Another Milligan one...I dont mind dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens !

Woody Allen

"i don't want to achieve immortality through my movies I want to do it by not dying"

Another Milligan one.
I want burying in a tree as i've always wanted people to look up to me.

Jeremy Thorpe

I have not met Norman Scott face to face for years

Unknown

Everybody talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it

Groucho Marx

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

Spike Milligan
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

During the D Day landings in WW2 my Grandad was the first soldier off the boat

At Dover!

Like the Jeremy Thorpe quote - hope he's not a relative Jeremy.

Couple more..

I've stopped drinking but only while I'm asleep (George Best)

There's only one cure for grey hair. A Frenchman invented it. It's called the guillotine (PG Wodehouse)

don,t know any but you made me laugh!

Nancy Astor to Winston Churchill in the house of commons-
"you are drunk"
Winston churchill's reply
"madam you are ugly but I'll be sober in the morning"
sorry if the wording is not eact but is as near as can remember

i spy, ta, i love reading stuff like this, gives me a good chukkle

"Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

It's back by popular demand.
Well one person asked about it.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself. (Oscar Wilde)

Woody Allan in a film was asked, Have you ever made love to a lady replied No but I practice a lot on my own.

On his death bed WC Fields was thumbing through the bible, his nurse asked if he was religious to which he replied................"No my dear just looking for a loophole".!