Christmas nativity

Amid the sadness , tales of woe and funless 2020, I aim to cheer up the Christmas time with , A festive nativity play, I'm looking for volunteers to act in my nativity play, I need all the usual characters, Joseph , Mary etc, etc , Its on a first up best dressed basis, but we can add more if the demand is high,
My catering team will be making the mince pies and there will be a free sherry on entry, seating arrangements will be relaxed down to 6 inches from your keyboard and the ticket price is fully complimentary from my theatre and stage company, Arfur Tanner,

If you need a VERY Wise Man from the West I am available.

Good man Broady, you are a wise man and the part is yours, rehearsals start soon, Don't worry we have skype,

I could have been Virgin Mary but if I'm required to make puddings & pies that's ok I can turn my hand to anything

Sledge, bernard coyle and stardullter could be the three wise men, and when he does a norman bates, he could be the Virgin Mary as well

Who'll play the baby ???

You Will make a fine Virgin Mary Nana as I know you are capable of multitasking , I was thinking Mr Sledge would make a fine Donkey and the baby, surely would be fitting for some one who does a lot of crying although its not my place to nominate a person, So up to now we have ,
one Wise Man and The Virgin Mary,

I too can multi task but as female roles are at a premium and I am in favour of Nana being the Virgin Mary, I would like to be The Angel Gabriel.
Now I known that angels are androgynous but I said, I can multi task.
I know there is the role of the innkeepers wife but have no desire to be associated with that mean spirited man.

Who wants to be that fat chap, Round John Virgin?

I'll be the Angel and make an appearance to yon shepherds in the middle of the night.

Then Jathbee is the Angel Gabriel and Platty is to be The Angel that appears to yon shepherds , Terry, I know not of a fat man round John virgin and I suspect this may be a joke feed line, which is good because Our nativity play will be as a pantomime atmosphere and situations like, this scene will be encouraged,

scene 1 act1
Joseph asks Mary. " weirs that babbie gone wench"

Audience shours, ITS RIGHT BEHIND THEE,

PS, The role of Joseph is still free and I do believe ' some people' are convinced that Terry might be a former member with the same name, so,
whaddya say , Terry ?

Can I bee the Donkey

Just to check Arfur, will this panto be in Wales at the end of one of your tours and will there be plenty of sheep in the fields?

TTS - front or back?

Middle

Platty this nativity /Panto will be performed at a secret venue because of Covid restrictions, There it will be filmed and later shown on this messageboard shortly before Christmas, The final date will be realized at a press conference later this month dependent on , how the reheasals are going and the delivery of props and stuff,

Mr twostroke, you have secured the role of the donkey Hee Haww,

I may as well be, I've been everyone else on here bar the admin.

Mac was everyone else including the admin.

I'll be your huckleberry.

Who said that and where?

Breaking news,

Terry is Joseph, As in, Arfurs Christmas nativity , He did the audition today and he's just the character we are looking for, A none drinking , no smoker , smart ,intelligent , well mannered man who tells it like it is, If any gang members or, 'some people' apply for parts in the Panto, I've got some space in the stable yet,,

Nay, lad!

what a lovely post! Full of humour and kindness .

I said Arfur would be interesting & he is

I could also double as the guiding Star that led the wise men to the stable. Not a great character change from an angel.
I do love the limelight

Reminds me of that lovely Dostaf bloke who did similar entertaining threads.

If I remember right he was also interested in one ladies bush on here, she often spoke of trimming it and keeping it nice to look at.

A Kilmarnock Willow I think it was.

Thank you my friends, I have heard of this dustaf fellow and it is a great honour to be mentioned in the same tone as he was,
But anyway, I have now acquired a Stable and because of Covid the rent on the stable is under the 'rent holday ' scheme until March 2021, So that's a nice cheap start to the preparations .

I have some extras if you need them, they are unsure their employment at this time.

They might be fur lowed

Posted by: TerryW (5457)

If I remember right he was also interested in one ladies bush on here, she often spoke of trimming it and keeping it nice to look at.

A Kilmarnock Willow I think it was.

You are quite correct, TerryW.
It was indeed my Kilmarnock willow

Unfortunately we downsized and had to leave my Kilmarnock willow behind.
The last I heard of it, it had been cruelly torn out at the roots ouch!!!
And had been replaced by a Cherry tree
I kid you not.

very Good My twostokes, fur lowed indeed and how lucky they are because the chancellor said at first, It will be' two deer' to furlough for a second wave,

I told you yesterday of my acquisition of the stable, I've had it delivered to the unit, Where its now on the stage area and workmen are repairing and painting it, I'm so excited that, I sneaked down there and had a peep, I had to be very quiet as there is a night watchman and I managed to get a photo of it

The nativity stable undergoing refurbishment

Apologies to Jathbee, after reading through the older posts again it would seem it was Joseph who liked the bush and not the very popular Dostaf.

Very impressive that stable, Arfur. Just the ticket.

I have a great story of a stable in Graz, Austria, but that's for another time.

It was indeed Joseph. Another popular poster.

Seems there are a lot of popular posters missing now.

I will be the myrrh salesman, one if the wise men can come to my shop and ask, 'please, sir. I want some Myrrh.
That will lead to the next thrilling stage play.

You will have to take payment in gold otherwise it will incense Frank.

We take visa, gold, shekels or leeches

With rehearsals well under way now, I need 2 more wise men, broady has his name down so I need two more

any takers ??

Right then,,,,,, the nativity play is ready, because of social distancing bla bla bla, we have had to video it, All the cast have done their bit, now its up to you, WiganWorld messageboard member to say when you want to see it, Tickets are free to ' all people' that includes ' some people' 'the gang'
'them men' 'us men' and ' yor men',
Tell us when you want to see it, you might be on shift work and not want to miss the premier, or you might have a previous engagement or even booked a meal in the mount,
Here is the cast,
The Virgin Mary.........NanaJaque
Joseph,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,TerryW
the wise men,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Broady, Gaffer and Sonlyme
the angel gabrial,,,,,,,Jathbee
the donkey,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,tommy 2 stokes
the baby Jesus,,,,,,,,,,,,played by himself
The shepherd,,,,,,,,,,,,,,played by Platty

best boy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Tonker
Director,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,anonymous smashing chap from another site,
filmed in,,,,,,,,Wigan

coming Soon at a night only you pick

I've been left out.

Sorry Platty but I can only break a Mars bar in so many pieces, All were invited to take part, you did not put you hand up high enough,
perhaps next year, or we might do another later, stay alert,

That really has wetted me appetite, and I cawn't wait to see it, because it will make up for all the Cinemas closing, and there being no Jimmy Bond Filum this year

I did Arfur. Now who's going to appear to the shepherds over yonder?
Have to be in the clique I suppose.

Ouch,,, you did indeed Platty, I hold my hand up, I'm completely at fault, What with the covid and Brexit and a dozen more excuses I could use, The only thing I can do is beg forgiveness and give you free front row tickets with ice cream and Kiora , A thousand apologies from Me,

Arfur, I don’t mean to be a critic (Oh, no she isn’t!) but I think you should reconsider. (Oh, yes she is! )

Without the angel visiting the shepherds, you’re missing a trick. Picture this: Platty shouts (angelically) but the shepherds don’t see him (as he’s hidden by a sheep), cue excited audience participation …

“He’s behind ewe!”

I agree yoo definitely need an Angel

ANGEL

Watching that, TTS, I have a newfound admiration for Platty and Jathbee.

Two very brave volunteers.

of course, of course, whatever am I thinking, Platty should be in the play and i will move heaven and hell to include him,
Your in the play Platty with full wages bonuses and exps,
and I've altered the credits,

Thank you Arfur, you have restored my faith in human nature.
All the practising I have been doing, appearing to sheep in the middle of the night in fields yonder ( until I was warned off by a couple of interfering.....) has not gone to waste. The sheep didn't seem to mind.

thank you Platty I am humbled by your graciousness of granting me this undeserved absolution , Now we must decide the night to publish this nativity play,

Its been directed and produced on a low budget level due to , lack of funds and, the pandemic which, demands social distancing and meticulous hygiene and PPI regime,
So tell me people of Wigan world,

what night is good for you ?

.

Wednesday afternoon, around 16:00 till around 21:00 would do for me, Arfur. I will be the stage hand

thank you first mate for using a bit of discretion there, ( wink wink)
ok, So lets go this coming friday,

Frikday 11/12/2020 at 8pm, the bar opens at 7.30, don't let boris know,
NanaJ and jathbee will be doing the catering , Tonker will be giving a talk on, why Marus Bridge has't got a bridge and how its in Pemberton, firefox has kindly offered to be stage hand so, he'll set up the mic's and go, " one two, one two, one two, I'll twiddle the knobs to make sure the person at the back can hear as good as the other person in the stalls,,
face masks and domestos hand wash are available at Tescos and a late night supper is available at Peters chippy,
The pilot performance on another forum ( posted by another member) and kindly edited later, got up roaring cheers from the audience and good reports from the critics like, " a good fun romp from armature actors on a low budget production, worthy of an Oscar " and " best production of 2020 and not just because, Covid stopped any others"

be there, or be square, as they said in the 1960's

*Friday 11th Dec at 8pm*

Tonight’s the night!
It’s very exciting!

yes indeed it is jo anne, The cast and I have been there all day making preparations and making last minute tweeks to the props, dusting down the isles making sure all the lights work , the heatings on and the crowd barriers will hold up as the queue form outside,
Its a very nervous night for all concerned as we all go round sayin
" break a leg", Its the done think in the circles of actors, apparently ,

Yes, I believe it is, Arfur. I admire anyone who’s brave enough to thread the boards.

Break a leg to you all!

Heavens, I am so nervous. Where's ff, I need help with my wings. Has he got the sheep and shepherds?
And jo anne's busy "threading the boards". Hope she's underneath while we're treading the boards.

Don't worry Platty I'm bringing a crate of rum backstage in 15 minutes, If you forget your lines, it wont matter, everyone will be pizzed and no one will care,

Ask arfur if he can be the fluffer to ease your nerves before your performance, Platty.

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with fluffing , Its a bit late now platty the curtain is raising, the warm up man is on and any moment now, there will be a knock on you dressing room door and then fame is coming your way,

Ladies and gentlemen, the Wiganworld nativity play

Did Nana like the cow because she was going to cook it?
Hope the offers for work come rolling in.

the phone's never stopped ringing since the performance Platty, offers from all the top production companies, I'll get some contracts written out and send them, don't call us, we'll call you,

Thanks Arfur, cast and crew, that’s given me a good chuckle.

Thank you jo anne, I'm glad you liked it,

That wasn't an Inn, that was an Hotel. Inns have no stars!

|Follow my instructions

Quality, Arfur :)

That nice Mr Tonker tells me, here is a Holiday Inn in Tonkersville that has 4 stars and the bar is allowed to open.

Mr Arfur. I've been trying to contact you via web conferencing about these bails of hay, but it would seem there is no Zoom at the Inn.

Where's me donkey!