Handbags   (The sad, the bad and the ugly. Non-productive stuff here.)

I'll try and remember to look out for them when next in Wigan, Dostaf.

To lurry the tone:

'Tories blaming Labour for introducing green parakeets to London to offset the budgie deficit...'

When I was little, my family was driven home from Scotland in the cab of a truck - our broken down Austin Princess and caravan in tow.

My abiding memory is when we stopped at a transport cafe and the driver's bacon butty having his black oily handprint on it.