Handbags   (The sad, the bad and the ugly. Non-productive stuff here.)

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today."
"You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession," said the sheik, then he turned to the first man and asked him what he did for a living.

"I'm a Soldier," said the first man.

"Then we will shoot your penis off!" said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living.

"I'm a firemen," said the second man.

"Then we will burn your penis off!" said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?"

The third man said with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop man".

As an aside, My mother used to be a Lollypop Lady.
She didn't help Children to cross the road, she was tall and thin with a round, sticky head.