Handbags   (The sad, the bad and the ugly. Non-productive stuff here.)

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies

"Bless my soul", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"


There's a similar one about a golfer breaking a bottle while searching for his ball at the edge of the course. As it breaks a naked man appears 'as if from nowhere' and claims to be a genie.

The bloke's wishes are golf related.

Better swing, best set of clubs money can buy and membership and captaincy of local exclusive club.

Proviso being that the genie gets to sleep with your man's wife.

Bloke agrees, takes the genie home.


Post coitus, the 'genie' asks the woman how old her husband is.

Similar punchline to the above.





I typed that out, just to show the Spigot Monk that not all my stuff on here is copied and pasted from a sordid joke site.

* Red editing indicates naughty profanities in the original stolen item