Handbags   (The sad, the bad and the ugly. Non-productive stuff here.)

As the students left my classroom at the end of a lesson, one girl came to my desk and said, "Sir, I think the batteries are going on my mp3 player. Have you got any spare ones?"

I said, "Actually, I know a little trick." I took them out, gave them a quick lick, and then put them back in.

I said, "Right, that's your breasts sorted. Let's look for some batteries."