General   (General discussion, talk about anything.)

2 men are sitting in the pub talking about their respective wives, and one of them says

"I hate my Wife, I wish she was dead". The other man says,

"Why don't you have here killed then, I know someone who will do it for you"."Surely that would be expensive" says the first man, but the other man reassures him that he knows someone that would do it cheap.

So the next day they go to meet the hitman. "Hello, my names Art" he says,

"but everyone calls me Arty, please tell me what you want me to do?". So the husband tells him that he wants his Wife killed, but can't afford to pay too much. "That's alright" says Arty "I hate women, I do it for you for a £1".

So the husband gives Arty details of his Wife, telling him that she is a creature of habit and always goes to Tesco's everyday at 11am, and that she always wears a green coat, with matching shoes, handbag and scarf.

The next day Arty waits beside the frozen food isle at 11am waiting to pounce. He sees a woman come in all dressed in green exactly as described, so he creeps up behind her,

puts his hands round her neck, and strangles her to death. He is just about to leave, when he sees another woman also all dressed in green. Nevermind thinks Arty, I hate women so I'll kill her as well, which he does, again strangling her from behind.

And the next day the headline in the papers reads "Arty chokes 2 for a £1 at Tescos".