General   (General discussion, talk about anything.)

Husband and wife decide to make up a password for sex (washing machine). They go to bed and husband says 'washing machine' wife says 'not tonight, I've got a headache'. Half an hour goes by and shes feeling guilty, so she says 'washing machine' her husband replies 'its to late, it was only a small load so I've done it by hand'
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A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said....Babe tell me something that will make me happy and sad all at the same time......
She said...you have the biggest c*ck out of all of your friends.....
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just rang dominos pizza and ordered a thin and crusty supreme.....
diana ross turned up
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Breaking news mick hucknall has been arrested for making love to a rabbit.
A police source said they found him 'HOLDING BACK THE EARS' singing ' bunnies 2 tight to mention
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A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head 'Yes' and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, 'No' and mumble a reply. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, ''The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.''

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2 Irish couples decide to swap partners. Afterwards Paddy said to Murphy that's the best f*ck I've ever had, I wonder how the girls got on ?
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3 women 1 engaged 1 married & 1 mistress decide to treat their men by wearing black leather bras pants & mask. The engaged woman says me & my man made love twice. The mistress adds we had wild uninhibited sex all night. The married woman sighs my husband came home took one look at me and said wots for tea batman?????
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Paddy buys a bath, takes it back next day complaining water keeps running out. Manager says did you buy a plug? Paddy says you bastard you never said it was electric.
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I've just been arrested. I was in car, dying for a wee so did it in a coke can. Police stopped and asked what was in the can.. Now being done for possesion of canapiss..
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Kylie, Elton & Robbie walking along street. Kylie trips jamming her head in railings. Robbie pulls her knickers down, *Bleeps* her senseless, turns 2 Elton & sez 'yr turn'. Elton starts crying. 'Wots wrong?' sez Robbie, Elton sobs'my head wont fit in the railings!'
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