General   (General discussion, talk about anything.)

Bloke is reading the For Sale ads in the Wigan Observer and sees an advert that says, "Talking Dog for sale, £50." He drives all the way to Standish (why they were advertising in the wigan evening post I have no idea cos officially its not part of wigan but part of wigan mbc blah blah blah) and knocks on this door. He asks the bloke if its true he has a talking dog and the bloke says, "Aye its in theer lying down in front o' fire." He walks in and sees this beautiful labrador which wakes up and to the blokes surprise it starts to speak, saying, "I cant believe he is selling me. For five years I worked at Heathrow airport on the drugs squad before I became the queens personal watchdog. I was then in the SAS for two years, working with the anti-terrorism branch. After that I went being a showdog and won Crufts three times. I have been awarded the DCM and the VC and it has come to this." The bloke cannot believe it and says to the owner, "Why are you selling a dog like this?" The owner looks down at the dog and then looks at the bloke and says, "Cos he is a frigging lying sod!"