"My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."

"Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."

"Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."

"Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip."

"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."

"Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."

"Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins."

"Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side."

"Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."

"Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak."

"Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust."

"Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."

"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday."

"Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral."

"My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines."

"Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well."

"Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

"Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover."

"Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."

"Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."



Wellllllllllllll, everybody else is nickiing stuff off of thinternet.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak

Wellllllllllllll, everybody else is nickiing stuff off of thinternet. That's your excuse and you're sicking to it then, Dostaf.

Yip.

I googled 'letter to school from mum' and the pigging thing replied 'did you mean letter to school from mom?'

Mom!

Not I.

why was sam absent you mised him

Sam, Mr M?

Not sure.

Uncle Sam?

Corduroy pillows are making headlines,

Behave!

So I borrowed some American stuff.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines


That sounds rude.

I bet some of the parents' handwriting SAMples won't match any of the writing on the notes.

I was actually looking for examples of childish scrawl when I found that list.

Some children might have been attending a course on old writing.

Was only thinking about that sort of thing the other day when jarvo mentioned wtiting in italics.

My handwriting's often been compared to an Oleg trail.

'Some people' deny using google.

Spider's handwriting Olegible?

Or s one teacher announced to the class as I handed him some work of my work:

"It's drunken spider time again".

IE Writing that looks as though a spider has walked through ink, then left a trail all over the page.


It's a cross we geniuses must bear.

Or is that geinii?

Google time.

Octopie...Mmmmm

Scruffy writing can cleverly disguise spelling mistakes.

Scruffy writing can cleverly disguise spelling mistakes

True.

Absent-minded?

I watched that programme about Jews a while back (Strictly Kosher). One mon was a Scribe, or a Scrivener.

He wrote prayers and text on paper for people. How painstaking it looked.

He scrutinized every dot and cross to make sure everything was 100% accurate.

A far cry from them daft sods with bits of Chinese menus tattooed on their bodies.

thus

(haven't checked them all so sorry if there's any naughty ones)

When you work here you can name your own salary, I named mine Fred.

Hopefully that's the Fred who's made of money and not the one who hasn't got a penny to his name, Bentlegs.

I used to think Chinese menu tattoos add character .... I'm sick of mine now.

A far cry from them daft sods with bits of Chinese menus tattooed on their bodies.

But it's easier than slurring your words after a heavy night, if you just point at the arm that says Chicken in Black Bean sauce

my stepson had his babies name & date of birth tatooed on his arm in Chinese. It was only years after he found it meant we have a red carpet.

please excuse me from doing any work today, cos iv'e got a tough of Lasyitus, and need to rest

tom was late for skool today because I overslept due to the budgie landing on the alarm clock and knocking off the buzzer,

toms mum,