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Funnies for Wanda's Mum
Started by: cordyline (4137)   Report abuse
I wrote to that posh MP about pollution.

It began

"Dear Jacob, re smog......"

Posted by: cordyline (4137)   Report abuse
What do you call an Alien who eats too much cheese, egg yolks and animal fat?


An extra-cholesterol......

Posted by: cordyline (4137)   Report abuse
I tried to get through to the tinnitus helpline earlier but....

it just kept ringing.

Posted by: cordyline (4137)   Report abuse
I've just stolen loads of swimming pool inflatables.

I'd better lilo.

Posted by: cordyline (4137)   Report abuse
I accidently rubbed herbs in my eyes earlier...


Now I'm parsley sighted

Posted by: cordyline (4137)   Report abuse
Whatís the best thing about Switzerland?

I donít know, but their flag is a huge plus.

Posted by: cordyline (4137)   Report abuse
Two commuters meet on the bus.

"Isn't this great?" says one.

"You don't have to sit at the wheel, no traffic jams, nothing to get on your nerves, no road rage, noise or stress, you're conserving the environment and you still get to work on time"

"Exactly," says the other

"By the way - How long are you banned for?"

Posted by: cordyline (4137)   Report abuse
"What does Allahu Akbar actually mean?" I asked Muhammad my neighbour today.

"It has two meanings" he replied "The first meaning is - God is Great - "

"And the second?" I asked

"Run like Hell" Muhammad smiled.

Posted by: cordyline (4137)   Report abuse
Thereís a thin line between a numerator and denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

 
 
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