Keg Or Cooking?

Mainly for Mester Joseph.

We have mentioned before about th phrase 'pint of cooking and a bag of nuts', from the Selwyn Froggit TV series. I don't think we have heard it elsewhere.

Until;

The Likely Lads

That episode is doing the rounds on G.O.L.D.

In it, terry mentions a couple of pints and a posh bloke from the office asks "Do you want keg or cooking?"



It's a pain to google, because you keep ending up with recipes for cooking with beer.

comes from the term, cooking sherry, you don't put the best sherry in cooking, just the cheap stuff, hence cooking bitter, is the cheapest bitter,

I thought that before Tom but wasn't sure.

That's only the second time I have heard it mentioned, mester. Try not to let it take over your life though.

Ah. Good one

Was thinking it was the alternative to 'best'. Which, according to google is usually a brewery's stronger beers.

But;

The 'keg or cooking' reference.

Episode obviously over forty years old, and I may be barking up the wrong tree. But would keg beer have been seen as a superior ale.

I'm probably thinking of modern issues with the keg V cask arguments.

"That's only the second time I have heard it mentioned, mester. Try not to let it take over your life though."



Trust me mester, I don't study a pint and wax lyrical about it's colour etc.

I spilled one once.

Yes I think Keg ales where the superior ales at the time.

Spilled one! you won the lottery then?

Alas no.

It all happened many years ago. I may have had one or two and placed a near-full pint back down on the bar a bit too nonchalantly.

At the time, the pub had beer towels on the bar and the glass (tulip type) was half-on half-off the towel as it were.

The rest, as they say, is history,


I prefer not to talk about it mester.

There's sad then isn'it!

There's just one word for it - puddled.

Don't take the wotsit mester.

It's the first time I've been able to speak about it.

And even then, only thanks to internet anonimity.

I feel purged.

I've felt purged a time or two before you know. (Usually after avoiding a lot of spillage)

Or ullage for the technicallly minded

Hello Jo Anne.

Don't take him on. I suppose he's never spilled any.

I was being sympathetic to your obviously traumatic incident, mester. I joketh not on such matters.

Are you 'coming out' as a fellow sufferer mester?

If so I do apologise.

No I'm still in the wardrobe at this moment in time mester, maybe after a few more councilling sessions I maybe able to let go!

Not in the 'I've just released a fragrance of my own' way you understand!

You don't sup halves dou you.

Sorry about the . After all, who am I to judge. But I'm new to this touchy feely stuff about supping.

Halves? indeed not, Ice cold Pernod & lemmonade does me.

In a pint glass?

Well done that man.

Yes really! My Mrs goes mad at me.

Hello Dustaf.
Sorry for any misunderstanding, but it was you that I earlier referred to as puddled.



And you don't seem to do things by halves.

Ahhhh.

That's why you hide in the wardrobe.

Not so much "hide" but locked in it.

Yes Jo Anne.

It may be 2010, but there's still an awful stigma to chaps supping halves.

Unless it's Brasso.







Warning to the notreets;

Don't sup Brasso. It will make you poorly.

Pee in shoes mester. That'll teach her.

(The missus, not Jo Anne)

From here?

What, with my feet?

Who'd have me?

She won't stand still either.

It may be 2010, but there's still an awful stigma to chaps supping halves.

'What'll hold a lot will hold a tipple.'

I'm nearly teetotal, but I do enjoy being amongst people such as your good selves, and take great pleasure in seeing those who appreciate the pull of beer serenely sup their preferred pints. Whenever I can, with great care, I bump into these fine patrons 'accidentally' so ultimately their tipple tips all over them.

I only say this in the anonymity afforded to me by the internet. After all, I don't want anyone hops-in mad to come after me.

I bet you're one of the beggars who makes the unoccupied seats jump out as one saunters past on the way to the 'back shop' too.

I am not so chair-lish, Dustaf.

It's usually those little stools in the way.

In the lounges etc, not 'back shops'.

Is that your number two bugbear, Dustaf?

Number one has to be the folk who treat bar staff like dirt.

Lower on the list is those who confuse the terms 'local' and 'regular'.

Local = Pub

Regular = Customer

Such confusion can be hard to come to terms with, Dustaf.

For those who have difficulty with that one Jo Anne, I recommend 'boozer'. It can usually apply to both.

Phew, I thought you were a pub *academic at 15:51, Dustaf.

*Meaning synonymous with pedantic.

That's why I'm relieved to see you were just lining up your next joke.

Speaking of 'lining up'.

There's an old pub bet where you challenge someone to a supping race.

Challenger lines up six pints for self and six shorts for oponent. (loser picks up bill)

Simple rule states neither party can touch the other's glasses in any way.

Providing challenger is a bit of a 'slutch-bucket' it can be done.

Are you a slutch-bucket, Dustaf?
I wouldn't have a shot at it myself.

I'd have a sup-gill struggle supping a quarter of a pint, let alone six.

A gill was a quarter of a pint (I looked on wiki) - not something those who drink like a fish would have.

It also helps if challenger has 'no clack'.

There's an owd supping phrase. (engineering origin)

Clack's my trouble then.

The phrase refers ot one who can sup a pint 'down-in-one' etc.

They don't gulp. Clack probably originates from clack valve. (A simple one way valve)

"Yon mon's getten no clack" Was said when someone shifted a pint quickly.

I could pour a pint straight down the sink without thinking, Dustaf.

Bet that'd make even yon mon who's geet no clack gulp.

Steady on, Jo Anne

You'll be having folk reporting your language.

Why - is there something amiss. Quick - tell me what to edit.

I wouldn't really pour money down the drain like that - if someone bought it for me, I'd pass it to someone who'd enjoy it.

I meant your suggestion of pouring a pint down the sink.


Since you explained that you wouldn't really do it, I suppose there's no harm done.

No prohibited words allowed then, Dustaf.

Prohibition must have been interesting.

I wonder what would happen if they even considered it today.

Rovers Return would be quiet.

To cook in our home all we use is olive oil

I bet she's thrilled!

Akakakakakak

Timely, young sir, timely!